How excited are you?
1. Very
2. Super
3. Sooooooo
4. Incredibly
5. Totally
6. Freakishly
7. Unbelievably
8. WOOHOOOOO, I'm so
go here to read: Alison And Wendy
Showing posts with label wendy molyneux. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wendy molyneux. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
No gloves, no love
note: the title of this post has nothing to do with this picture, well, not in the way you're thinking.
Alison, WendyThe public demanded more Alison And Wendy posts. Who are we to disappoint?
Sunday, February 22, 2009
New stuff up on Alison and Wendy
We couldn't let our one fan down, so we've resumed chat blogging. Check it out! alisonandwendy.tumblr.com
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Prepare yourself for the return of Wendy and Alison
Have you been missing Wendy and me? I know you have! Well I have good news my little... uh.... (pssst, Ted! What was it you liked to be called? My little empanadas? My little tortillas? My little taquitos? Dammit it's all so hazy in my brain!)
Anyhoozers, Wendy, who is busy being all busy with her upcoming project which I'm not sure if I can say what it is or not, and I, who is busy (who am busy?) being all busy with just, you know, being busy and shit, and also being important, just like being busy and important, have renewed our blog chat vows and so we'll be chatting in blog form once more starting very soon. Could you BE more excited?
I don't think so. And if you could be then I beseech you to hide your lack of excitement. Hide it in a hamper. Hide it under a bushel. Hide it in a napkin and then stuff it in your pocket. Hide it under your pillow. Stuff it in a sock. Stuff it in a sausage. Stuff it in a shoe box. I could go on.
Anyhoozers, Wendy, who is busy being all busy with her upcoming project which I'm not sure if I can say what it is or not, and I, who is busy (who am busy?) being all busy with just, you know, being busy and shit, and also being important, just like being busy and important, have renewed our blog chat vows and so we'll be chatting in blog form once more starting very soon. Could you BE more excited?
I don't think so. And if you could be then I beseech you to hide your lack of excitement. Hide it in a hamper. Hide it under a bushel. Hide it in a napkin and then stuff it in your pocket. Hide it under your pillow. Stuff it in a sock. Stuff it in a sausage. Stuff it in a shoe box. I could go on.
Friday, October 03, 2008
Wendy and I updated our chat page!
We did, we did! Because I told her that our readers demand chatting. In fact, when she was in New York she came to the rooftop and we had this conversation:
Alison: We should update our tumblr.
Wendy: Yeah.
And now we've gone and done it! Check it out!
Alison: We should update our tumblr.
Wendy: Yeah.
And now we've gone and done it! Check it out!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I'm a thief
As a writer and delightful bon vivant I'm always worried about unintentionally ripping someone off. I've talked about this with other writers and whenever a particular word or phrase flies off your fingertips too easily it's suspect. For example, I recall "alluring down-turned smile" once coming out of me and then wondering where it came from because it didn't really sound like me.
Anyway! Remember when I wrote that whole good news and bad news post? Titled I Blame Denver? Well I went to Wendy's blog tonight and looks like she had the good news/bad news construct cornered way before I did. I feel so... stealthy.
Yes, that's right, I'll say it. I am proud that I'm stealing. You think I'm going to live by your rules? By society's rules? I don't think so. I name my plants and I steal from my friends. It's just who I am.
Anyway! Remember when I wrote that whole good news and bad news post? Titled I Blame Denver? Well I went to Wendy's blog tonight and looks like she had the good news/bad news construct cornered way before I did. I feel so... stealthy.
Yes, that's right, I'll say it. I am proud that I'm stealing. You think I'm going to live by your rules? By society's rules? I don't think so. I name my plants and I steal from my friends. It's just who I am.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Whose maracas do I need to shake?
Who do I need to blow to get my blog mentioned on Blogs of Note I elegantly asked my friends Mike, er, Duane and Wendy tonight, both of whom have blogs which were recently anointed noteworthy. They couldn't answer though because they were busy with their thousands of new readers, receiving foot massages and hearing about how great they are and how their writing style is unique and would you like another gold bar and just tell me when you get tired of my going on and on about how you changed my life, it's just such an honor to meet you.
Finally they got back to me and Mike wanted to know why it's always that particular sex act that's equated with a transaction and Wendy told me it was five strangers.
But Mike had a point. When you think about it, why is it always about getting blown?
And so I submit other expressions:
Just who do I have to snuggle with to get a mention?
Just who do I have to spoon to get a mention?
Whose window do I need to clean to get a mention?
Whose car seat do I need to warm? [cold weather only]
Whose gazpacho do I need to chill?
Whose golf score do I need to tally?
Whose stick do I need to swizzle? [I mean this in a cocktail sense! mind out of the gutter, you!]
Whose budgie do I need to teach to talk?
Whose kinks do I need to massage?
Whose mechanical pencils do I need to refill with lead?
Whose ring tone do I need to download?
I could go on all day, but I won't.
Finally they got back to me and Mike wanted to know why it's always that particular sex act that's equated with a transaction and Wendy told me it was five strangers.
But Mike had a point. When you think about it, why is it always about getting blown?
And so I submit other expressions:
Just who do I have to snuggle with to get a mention?
Just who do I have to spoon to get a mention?
Whose window do I need to clean to get a mention?
Whose car seat do I need to warm? [cold weather only]
Whose gazpacho do I need to chill?
Whose golf score do I need to tally?
Whose stick do I need to swizzle? [I mean this in a cocktail sense! mind out of the gutter, you!]
Whose budgie do I need to teach to talk?
Whose kinks do I need to massage?
Whose mechanical pencils do I need to refill with lead?
Whose ring tone do I need to download?
I could go on all day, but I won't.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
new posts up on Alison and Wendy
Care to know what Wendy and I think about The Hills, giant bananas, Gossip Girl, lions and more? I think you do!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Alison and Wendy
Wendy and I have posted some more chats, so if you'd given up on our tumblr, um, please un-give up on it.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Things I would rather do than clean my room
1. Stare at the mess
2. Write a blog post in list form
c. Entertain myself by going back and forth between numbers and letters
IV. Okay, now that's going too far.
V. I said too far. Roman numeral humor is only funny to marble statues.
6. Listen to music (New Pornographers right now)
7. But I could totally clean while listening to music. That was the original plan.
8. To be fair, I did clean off my desk.
9. But some of it just got relocated to my bed.
10. Did I ever tell you that after college I slept for a number of months on a bed with a drawer full of crap sitting on one corner of the bed? It's because we took the drawer out of the desk to make room for a filing cabinet or something, and didn't have anywhere to put the drawer, so I set it on the bed and just learned to work around it. Also, at this time I had one of those wooden duck phones a la Silver Spoons that quacked when it rang—also its eyes lit up— but it didn't sound like a duck. It sounded like Satan. It was really terrible. Anyway, I remember I was talking on the duck phone, sitting on the bed with the drawer nearby, setting up an interview for Rolling Stone or something and anyway I remember Wendy visited me that day and she said "Do you think anyone, when they're talking to you, pictures you working in this environment?"
11. Okay, she didn't say "environment" but that was the gist. And no, I don't think they realized. I also don't think people knew how young I was when I started. Except that I was really nice/eager, which gets beaten out of you quick.
12. Not me, I'm still nice/eager, except when I'm a total hardened bitch, but I mean, it gets beaten out of you.
13. No drawer on my bed today though. So you see: progress.
14. I've been in better moods.
15. I've also been in worse.
16. I have a lot of cords. And a lot of little thingies that I doubt I'll ever use. Like do I need these various international plugs for my blackberry charger? I don't think so. But it's not like I can just throw them out, you know? Because you know what happens when you throw them out? You wake up in Paris without a cell phone cursing the last time you cleaned your room. Not making THAT mistake again.
17. I met Mo Rocca this morning. I was having a breakfast meeting, because that's how I do, and the guy I was meeting knew Mo Rocca and anyway I was introduced and I said "I'm a fan," because I am, and Mo seemed genuinely touched at my fandom. At my fanship? It's interesting because were I Mo I would probably say something like "As well you should be" or something equally obnoxious.
18. Actually, that's not true. Sometimes I say stuff like "Oh my Gosh, thanks!" but then this one time I got trapped at a party by someone who told me I was funny and I said "Oh my Gosh, thanks!" and then the person was like "what, are you surprised to find out you're funny? you sound like you don't think you are!"
19. It was an aggressive sort of complementary encounter.
20. I know I'm funny.
21. Perhaps not in this list.
22. The music stopped.
23. Mess still messy.
24. But I do feel we've gotten to know each other a bit better.
25. Don't you?
26. Sorry, can't hear you, thinking about myself again.
27. My sister had a barking dog phone, which also didn't sound like a dog. When the phone rang in that house, it sounded like the caterwauling of the undead.
28. If the undead sounded vaguely like a dog and a duck.
29. The title of this post makes me sound 14.
30. Which is cool. Young is in.
31. Okay, I should really find new procrastination music.
2. Write a blog post in list form
c. Entertain myself by going back and forth between numbers and letters
IV. Okay, now that's going too far.
V. I said too far. Roman numeral humor is only funny to marble statues.
6. Listen to music (New Pornographers right now)
7. But I could totally clean while listening to music. That was the original plan.
8. To be fair, I did clean off my desk.
9. But some of it just got relocated to my bed.
10. Did I ever tell you that after college I slept for a number of months on a bed with a drawer full of crap sitting on one corner of the bed? It's because we took the drawer out of the desk to make room for a filing cabinet or something, and didn't have anywhere to put the drawer, so I set it on the bed and just learned to work around it. Also, at this time I had one of those wooden duck phones a la Silver Spoons that quacked when it rang—also its eyes lit up— but it didn't sound like a duck. It sounded like Satan. It was really terrible. Anyway, I remember I was talking on the duck phone, sitting on the bed with the drawer nearby, setting up an interview for Rolling Stone or something and anyway I remember Wendy visited me that day and she said "Do you think anyone, when they're talking to you, pictures you working in this environment?"
11. Okay, she didn't say "environment" but that was the gist. And no, I don't think they realized. I also don't think people knew how young I was when I started. Except that I was really nice/eager, which gets beaten out of you quick.
12. Not me, I'm still nice/eager, except when I'm a total hardened bitch, but I mean, it gets beaten out of you.
13. No drawer on my bed today though. So you see: progress.
14. I've been in better moods.
15. I've also been in worse.
16. I have a lot of cords. And a lot of little thingies that I doubt I'll ever use. Like do I need these various international plugs for my blackberry charger? I don't think so. But it's not like I can just throw them out, you know? Because you know what happens when you throw them out? You wake up in Paris without a cell phone cursing the last time you cleaned your room. Not making THAT mistake again.
17. I met Mo Rocca this morning. I was having a breakfast meeting, because that's how I do, and the guy I was meeting knew Mo Rocca and anyway I was introduced and I said "I'm a fan," because I am, and Mo seemed genuinely touched at my fandom. At my fanship? It's interesting because were I Mo I would probably say something like "As well you should be" or something equally obnoxious.
18. Actually, that's not true. Sometimes I say stuff like "Oh my Gosh, thanks!" but then this one time I got trapped at a party by someone who told me I was funny and I said "Oh my Gosh, thanks!" and then the person was like "what, are you surprised to find out you're funny? you sound like you don't think you are!"
19. It was an aggressive sort of complementary encounter.
20. I know I'm funny.
21. Perhaps not in this list.
22. The music stopped.
23. Mess still messy.
24. But I do feel we've gotten to know each other a bit better.
25. Don't you?
26. Sorry, can't hear you, thinking about myself again.
27. My sister had a barking dog phone, which also didn't sound like a dog. When the phone rang in that house, it sounded like the caterwauling of the undead.
28. If the undead sounded vaguely like a dog and a duck.
29. The title of this post makes me sound 14.
30. Which is cool. Young is in.
31. Okay, I should really find new procrastination music.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Wendy has a website for her book and she didn't even tell me
What kind of asshole doesn't tell you about their fetching new website? It's not like she's afraid of being self-promotional. God, I think maybe she's blog cheating on me. That's the only explanation. I mean, I don't really understand why that would account for her not telling me, nor do I really understand what "blog cheating" would be, but sometimes the least plausible explanation is the obvious one. In this case it's not, but I'm not ruling it out either.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Phoebish!
Because I post my chats with Wendy over here, by default, all other chats go here:
me:I can't lie to my public. I'm like Eva Peron Andy: in many ways.
me:I can't lie to my public. I'm like Eva Peron Andy: in many ways.
i've actually decided that your on-air persona is very phoebe-ish. phoebish?me: my california friends told me I reminded them of her too it's my blond hair
Andy: yes, that's it.
me: I don't know if I see it
but I love Friends
so thank you
so but then if it's my on air persona that would mean in real life I'm more like Joey?
Andy: no, you're more like alison rosen.
especially the hair.
me: I love her!
except when she gets kind of
I don't know the word
annoying
Andy: she's great in small doses.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The reading, the dream, the concourse, the chair
I went to Wendy's book reading last night but sadly got there after she'd already read because that's the kind of friend I am. It's the job, I tell you, I had to work late! I ran into another college friend who's just given notice to go freelance. "So you can watch TV, sleep and get a puppy?" I asked. He said YES in a way that is more affirmative than just a simple YES would imply. More like YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "It's the freelance dream," I said, but up to that point I didn't quite realize how much the dog is part of everyone's freelance dream. And no, I'm not living that dream, but that's okay too because I have a jade plant named Fred and am working on a chest infection. Not really! Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, I feel a little hoarse and my throat hurts but chest infection really is going too far.
Today I discovered the labrynthian shopping concourse beneath the building I'm now working in which connects to the subway! I thought this would be a way to avoid the elements but it's pretty cold down there. Still, if it had been snowing I would have avoided the snow—except I left after the subway entrance closed. But I went to the underground Duane Reade earlier in the day and enjoyed the frigid covered access. On my way out of the building I stopped by the Red Eye green room, making my evening rounds, to say hello to my favorite makeup and hair people and anyone else I might know in there. I think I actually walked in and said "hi, I came to brighten your evening with the joy that is my presence." Then I complained for about 15 minutes and left. Not really. 12 minutes. Thursday I'll be in the hot girl chair I think, which is good except it means I can't wear my usual waist-down attire of hotpants and thigh high boots, which is what I'm always wearing in the newsroom when you just see me from chest up. Dang!
Today I discovered the labrynthian shopping concourse beneath the building I'm now working in which connects to the subway! I thought this would be a way to avoid the elements but it's pretty cold down there. Still, if it had been snowing I would have avoided the snow—except I left after the subway entrance closed. But I went to the underground Duane Reade earlier in the day and enjoyed the frigid covered access. On my way out of the building I stopped by the Red Eye green room, making my evening rounds, to say hello to my favorite makeup and hair people and anyone else I might know in there. I think I actually walked in and said "hi, I came to brighten your evening with the joy that is my presence." Then I complained for about 15 minutes and left. Not really. 12 minutes. Thursday I'll be in the hot girl chair I think, which is good except it means I can't wear my usual waist-down attire of hotpants and thigh high boots, which is what I'm always wearing in the newsroom when you just see me from chest up. Dang!
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Look whose tumblr has comment capabilities now...
Wendy and my very important chat blog does! Also, if you are in the New York area on Monday make sure to go to Wendy's book reading! I'll be there too and maybe we'll do some liveblogging (by that I just mean talking to each other. Get it? That would be our blog live. Get it now? Do you? Oh shut it.)
Friday, January 25, 2008
I think
it's funny when people stand gloves up on things so it looks like they're waving. For example there is a glove standing up on the ledge above the mailboxes downstairs in my building and it made the experience of checking my mail, and discovering that 290 buckaroos of a health claim weren't covered because reason number code here etc a little friendlier.
Also I took my sad little bundle of laundry to the place across the street this morning hoping to get it there in time to get it back today but I'd missed the cut off. I asked the woman what time they could have it tomorrow. She answered and I frowned. She paused and then told me to try the place next door because they can have it done in time. It was all very Miracle on 34th Street but with more socks.
Finally I'm gearing up to write a big FAQ about the current events of my life. I probably won't actually do this. But wouldn't it be awesome if I did?
Oh and Wendy and I posted!
Also I took my sad little bundle of laundry to the place across the street this morning hoping to get it there in time to get it back today but I'd missed the cut off. I asked the woman what time they could have it tomorrow. She answered and I frowned. She paused and then told me to try the place next door because they can have it done in time. It was all very Miracle on 34th Street but with more socks.
Finally I'm gearing up to write a big FAQ about the current events of my life. I probably won't actually do this. But wouldn't it be awesome if I did?
Oh and Wendy and I posted!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Chats and books
Wendy and I did more chatting today. We try to put up some posts every day so if you aren't already in the habit of clicking over there, you should be! We talked before the horrible Heath Ledger news though, so these are more about Oscar noms and bowl cuts. And abortions. You know, fun stuff. Also, Wendy has a book out right now. That means I know two people with books out. You should buy their books. I haven't seen the final editions of either book but I saw early versions of both, because I'm so special and important that of course people want to consult me and get my opinion. (I told Wendy to make hers more pink and I told Greg to make his a coloring book.)
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Tobey, bricks, Top Shaman
Wendy and I put up a new post today. Perhaps you've already read it. If you haven't, head over there to take in my inability to speak my mind over very small things involving people I don't know that well. Fun! Other things going on? Well I haven't received my daily Tobey update so I don't know if he's still trying to eat bricks, which is not a euphemism for eating his euphemistic Tobeys, but apparently he was actually trying to eat bricks yesterday. Naturally, I think this is cute (from 3000 miles away). So mom, if you're reading this: Tobey update and photos and video, please! Tobey should have his own blog, really.
Also, a whole lot of stuff gets said during the commercial breaks while filming Red Eye and I always think I should remember it so I can repeat it here and note the way you probably had to be there. Last night I told Dr. Baden I'd enjoyed a nutritive enema* during the break and then I resumed my original seat (I'd vacated the seat so he could sit there during his segment). While waiting for filming to begin again Bill said something about someone being a showman. Greg said "and a shaman!" right as I said roughly the same thing. Bill looked disgusted and I have to admit I also had that sinking feeling that comes when two great minds produce less than one joke. Or maybe it was that I then mentioned Jim Morrison. Then Greg started joking about Top Shaman and also talking about Top Ramen and I said something about prophetic noodles.
*it was something he'd talked about in his segment, not something I enjoyed during the break
Also, a whole lot of stuff gets said during the commercial breaks while filming Red Eye and I always think I should remember it so I can repeat it here and note the way you probably had to be there. Last night I told Dr. Baden I'd enjoyed a nutritive enema* during the break and then I resumed my original seat (I'd vacated the seat so he could sit there during his segment). While waiting for filming to begin again Bill said something about someone being a showman. Greg said "and a shaman!" right as I said roughly the same thing. Bill looked disgusted and I have to admit I also had that sinking feeling that comes when two great minds produce less than one joke. Or maybe it was that I then mentioned Jim Morrison. Then Greg started joking about Top Shaman and also talking about Top Ramen and I said something about prophetic noodles.
*it was something he'd talked about in his segment, not something I enjoyed during the break
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
She totally believed that I didn't know who the Wiggles were!
My friend Wendy and I are so in love with our own musings that we decided to share them! On a blog! No, for truly! http://alisonandwendy.tumblr.com/
Now, some background: Wendy and I went to college together. We were both English majors. We had a friend who we called the MPG, or Modern Poetry Gestapo, because he got very upset with me one day when I didn't finish all the reading. While in college Wendy did improv and hated scatological humor. I had a pet rabbit and liked scatological humor. Also, I had a lot of candles. Now Wendy lives on the West Coast with her husband. They both write for TV and perform. I live on the East Coast and make homemade krullers.*
*oh, like there are any other kind of krullers
p.s. I don't make krullers.
Now, some background: Wendy and I went to college together. We were both English majors. We had a friend who we called the MPG, or Modern Poetry Gestapo, because he got very upset with me one day when I didn't finish all the reading. While in college Wendy did improv and hated scatological humor. I had a pet rabbit and liked scatological humor. Also, I had a lot of candles. Now Wendy lives on the West Coast with her husband. They both write for TV and perform. I live on the East Coast and make homemade krullers.*
*oh, like there are any other kind of krullers
p.s. I don't make krullers.
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