Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I blame Denver

Well I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that I won't be on Red Eye on Monday because there won't be Red Eye on Monday because of the conventions. The good news is that there's a bruise on my left arm which, if you look at the underside of my arm you can see the vein and the bruise is kinda smack in the middle of veinville (which sounds like a disgusting porno location, doesn't it?) and so it looks like an oil spill in the middle of the road, under my skin, but it's getting smaller. The bad news is that I can't have pets in my new place. The good news is that I'm going to be hosting the video component of this big festival in New York that's going to be bringing together a bunch of cool bands and filmmakers and design people and DJs and I'll be interviewing them and whatnot, on camera, so if you're needing your fix of me which, let's face it, YOU ARE, you will be able to get that next month for ten days, more than once a day. The bad news is that I'm sleepy. The good news is that I may even be doing yoga on video for the first time ever. The bad news is that I won't be able to keep a straight face. The good news is that I really enjoy hosting and this will give me a chance to really flex my host muscle. The bad news is that I pulled my host muscle carrying groceries and man does it ache. The good news is that host muscle weighs more than fat, but it's more dense, so you might be losing inches. The bad news is that there's no good TV on tonight.

I feel like I had more and better good and bad news, but it just didn't come together as I'd hoped.


Brett Jones said...

Dear GOD!

Alison doing Yoga, and it's being video taped.

I have visions of Aerobicise circa 1982 running through my head.

Toddrod said...

I hate when my good and bad doesn't come together as I hope!


Joe said...

Yeah, I expected the conventions to preempt Red Eye at least a few nights over the next 2 weeks. Personally, I'm so sick of the campaigns (that have been going on for almost 2 years now) that I'm not watching any political coverage at all. I won't be watching any of the conventions. At this point, just tell me who wins in November.

The hosting job next month sounds huge, Alison! Is it really for 10 days?? That's fantastic! Tell us more when you can. I always thought you would be an excellent host on the right kind of show, like maybe a pop culture verison of Ebert & Roeper.

The Saget roast was good. I thought the funniest were Jon Lovitz and Cloris Leachman, with honorable mention to Gilbert Gottfried and Jim Norton.

The Norm MacDonald bit was a total send up. I think he was just trying to do something different. He's talented enough that he could have easily been the funniest person on the show. Some of the bit was funny, but I don't think it came off like he wanted.

Rbastid said...

Hmmm I once took a very ill-advised trip to veinville after an appletini, I think, can't remember much about the place.

What festival is this you'll be doing stuff for? As a filmmaker and now, due to said trip, a film star it could be interesting. I thought first it was FringeNYC but then on second thought I remember that has nothing to do with film, music, and pretty much ended already.

As for your want of a pet, just Willow it, the rat will be on your person at almost all times, so no one will find out.

Ted from Accounting said...

I got finagled into doing relaxation Yoga once...it did relax me but I prefer getting a massage from my masseuse Mae Ling. I guess I just don't like to put the effort into my relaxation.

Well that bites about your Red Eye cancellation! I personally think both candidates are worthless! I'm doing a write-in vote for Rosen 08 instead!

I'm on Twitter!!!!!! Follow me Ro Ro...Follow me...please please please please please please with sugar on top!

Joe said...

Ted, if Alison ran for Prez, who would be her running mate? I'm thinking Diana Falzone. Instead of fireside chats, they could do White House PalChats.

I would go on Twitter but there are already enough people in the world dying of boredom - they don't need my help.

Ted from Accounting said...

Yes, Diana would be the perfect running mate...Alison is more presidential material though...more reserved...deep thinker!

I would be a good Chief of Staff...you know the "puppet master" behind the scenes! I'm hoping you will take the spokesman position Joe! LOL

My Twitter is going to be so exciting...it will chronicle my eating habits..."FOLLOW MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Joe said...

Ted, I would serve at the pleasure of the Commander-in-Chief (namely Alison).

And I really do mean "AT THE PLEASURE OF" if you know what I mean.

Ted from Accounting said...

I could see it now...it will be known as the Rosen-SpaceAgent Sex Scandal.

President Rosen, "Wait, we were only doing Yoga!"

Toddrod said...

Stop stop! Alison cannot have a sex scandal! Alison doesn't have sex! She is an innocent flower! She is like the virginal high school chick who gets embarrassed when people joke about penile implants. Alison is waiting till marriage before she explores the confusing and messy subject of sex. Wait, do you think the sex scandal is the reason why she moved?


Ted from Accounting said...

Yes Todd, that does create a dilemma for my scenario! We will just have to go with a VP & Chief of Staff scandal! I do what I can for the team!

Joe said...

The next thing you know there'll be rumors of an Alison love child, and all the male posters on this blog will be asked by the National Enquirer to take paternity tests.