Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Whose maracas do I need to shake?

Who do I need to blow to get my blog mentioned on Blogs of Note I elegantly asked my friends Mike, er, Duane and Wendy tonight, both of whom have blogs which were recently anointed noteworthy. They couldn't answer though because they were busy with their thousands of new readers, receiving foot massages and hearing about how great they are and how their writing style is unique and would you like another gold bar and just tell me when you get tired of my going on and on about how you changed my life, it's just such an honor to meet you.

Finally they got back to me and Mike wanted to know why it's always that particular sex act that's equated with a transaction and Wendy told me it was five strangers.

But Mike had a point. When you think about it, why is it always about getting blown?

And so I submit other expressions:

Just who do I have to snuggle with to get a mention?

Just who do I have to spoon to get a mention?

Whose window do I need to clean to get a mention?

Whose car seat do I need to warm? [cold weather only]

Whose gazpacho do I need to chill?

Whose golf score do I need to tally?

Whose stick do I need to swizzle? [I mean this in a cocktail sense! mind out of the gutter, you!]

Whose budgie do I need to teach to talk?

Whose kinks do I need to massage?

Whose mechanical pencils do I need to refill with lead?

Whose ring tone do I need to download?

I could go on all day, but I won't.


Toddrod said...

Uh... who's blog do I have to read to get...



todd said...

I love how you tell us to get our minds out of the gutter when your post starts with, "Who do I have to blow..." Anyway, chin up! Underappreciated artists are always the most talented!

Joe said...

They actually have a page about how to get your blog listed as a blog of note: tinyurl.com/4jl9ta

I didn't see anything there about having to supply oral sex, chilling gazpacho or massaging kinks. I think you just submit the name of the blog. Who'd have thunk it was that easy?

Joe said...

So I was watching "In the Shadow of the Moon" last night on Discovery. It wasn't bad. I've seen all the NASA video before. What was new was the interviews with the astronauts, who are all in their 70s now.

But halfway through the 2 hour program, they just had too many commercials. It was like they had 2 minutes of ads for every 3 minutes of the show. I finally just turned it off because I couldn't stand it anymore. I recorded it anyway, so I'll go back and finish watching it and zip through the ads.

Do you remember Ed Harris in the movie Apollo 13? Well he was portraying Gene Kranz, the lead flight controller in Houston on the Apollo missions. I've met Kranz twice - once in the Air Force and again when the company I used to work for hired him to make an appearance and speech at a conference (Kranz is retired now). He's far and away the most impressive person I've ever met.

And guess what... he believes in angels!

Ted from Accounting said...

Those crazy voices in my head just rang out a chorus to "Summer Loving" from Grease. Another post with sex stuff from Miss Rosen! Maybe there is an X-Rated Blogs of Note for you!?!?

Do you really want thousands of new readers!?!?!?! Is this a ploy to replace us? I bet it is! I recall the good old blog days when it was just you, me & Michael! Now that was a cozy blog when everyone showered!

I think what could really launch your fan numbers is to run a weekly "night time" show on PalTalk. I believe PalTalk is free! If you plugged it on Red Eye....like holy cow the numbers to your PalTalk and blog would skyrocket. Plus, regardless of scheduled TV appearances, you would constantly have your own show to "showcase" your talents to prospective employers. You could even book some guests on occasion and if you grew a big enough fan base, get some sponsors. You really need your own website as well! With my extensive knowledge of the entertainment field, I could take you places honey! LOL

Anyway, in tomorrow's post, I will be discussing global warming and how the shaking of maracas can reverse this process!

Ted "your unofficial" agent

Joe said...

Hey Alison, I wouldn't start handing over 10% to Ted just yet.

Just kidding, Ted. But you might be right about Alison wanting to replace us. God knows I've been pulling MY weight, but maybe she's trolling for some "new blood" anyway.

Don't you love us anymore Alison?? Please don't discard us like yesterday's trash.

Hey - remember those guys who started out on June 1 to cross the Atlantic in a rowboat? They were trying to break a 100-year record of 59 days.

They didn't quite make it. On the 13th day their boat capsized and they were rescued by a container ship a few hours later.

If you want to read more: tinyurl.com/4sbx2f