Whose maracas do I need to shake?

Who do I need to blow to get my blog mentioned on Blogs of Note I elegantly asked my friends Mike, er, Duane and Wendy tonight, both of whom have blogs which were recently anointed noteworthy. They couldn't answer though because they were busy with their thousands of new readers, receiving foot massages and hearing about how great they are and how their writing style is unique and would you like another gold bar and just tell me when you get tired of my going on and on about how you changed my life, it's just such an honor to meet you.

Finally they got back to me and Mike wanted to know why it's always that particular sex act that's equated with a transaction and Wendy told me it was five strangers.

But Mike had a point. When you think about it, why is it always about getting blown?

And so I submit other expressions:

Just who do I have to snuggle with to get a mention?

Just who do I have to spoon to get a mention?

Whose window do I need to clean to get a mention?

Whose car seat do I need to warm? [cold weather only]

Whose gazpacho do I need to chill?

Whose golf score do I need to tally?

Whose stick do I need to swizzle? [I mean this in a cocktail sense! mind out of the gutter, you!]

Whose budgie do I need to teach to talk?

Whose kinks do I need to massage?

Whose mechanical pencils do I need to refill with lead?

Whose ring tone do I need to download?

I could go on all day, but I won't.