Photos I found on my mom's computer

More photos of me? If you insist. I was on my mom's computer looking for porn (note: not looking for porn) when I found these photos that I must have put on there when they were emailed to me and I was using her computer and etcetera. Plus, since Anna David posted on the Activity Pit that she wasn't afraid to trot out some Alison Rosen material and then Joe asked for some baby pictures I thought I might beat them to the punch. Not that they actually have access to my baby photos, but you know. So, shall we?


Here I am taking a nap before the dawn of color photography. This actually is a daguerreotype.


And here I am wearing a bandanna on my head after a hard day of child labor. Also, my older brothers enjoyed dressing me up in ridiculous get ups and I'm thinking this was one of them.


Here I am hanging out with my older brother Josh. He's so totally imitating me here but that's Josh, always trying to do what I do.



Here I am many years later playing in The Angoras. Yes, I know my legs look fat here.


Here I am being tuff with the band, hanging out on a car. That's the kind of outlaw shit we did in OC. We didn't even play instruments, just hung out on fully-hotrodded titz rides. In fact, I'm surprised there aren't any flames on the side of this vehicle. There's very unusual.



Here we are on tour after I'd clearly made some kind of hugely embarrassing admission.

See how tuff we were? By the way, if you own this cassette it's totally worth the cost of a used cassette right now.


Here I am holding a baby. Come and get it quick men, I think I just ovulated. Oh and if you happen to click on this photo let me say right now that I don't know what's up with my eyebrow. I must have shaved it like that in prison. [update: maybe this isn't the photo but there's a photo of me like this where it looks like there's a Vanilla Ice-style notch missing from my eyebrow, hence the explanation. The unnecessary explanation.]


And here's my sister and me just hanging out. This was probably the last time I had a tan and wore a tank top. Actually, I'll have you know that's not just any tank top, it's Wonder Woman Underoos.

Gross! (and yet cute) AND YET GROSS!

I was watching the puppies here and all of them were nursing except there was one in the corner and I thought "Oh cute, he's doing his own thing in the corner," and then I realized doing his own thing meant going to the bathroom which was less cute and yet still kind of cute in a puppies will be puppies and go to the bathroom near where their mom and siblings are eating and then the mom quickly ate the poo! It wasn't cute!

But now they're all making puppy noises, which is cute.

An Open Letter to My Sister Who Is At A Hockey Game Which Is Weird Since I Don't Think She Likes Hockey That Much But Hey, I Could Be Wrong

So last night I logged on to my computer and went to Facebook and was surprised to see I had a bunch of messages and requests since I hardly ever use Facebook but anyway I approved a few requests, surprised that a couple of them were from people who know YOU, but then sometimes your friends track me down and also, we sometimes share friends just like we "share" a computer and by that I mean you check your email on my computer often, which I am totally okay with, in fact often I will tell you to look at my computer because there is a particularly cute Tobey video on there, etc. ANYWAY, after approving a few friends and adding an application because what the hell, right, I realized that this was YOUR profile I was logged in as—you must have been on there earlier and not signed out. Surprise, you have some new friends and an application! Also, you might be a member of a club. Let me know how that goes!

planning for my golden years

[UPDATE: The following was a real chat with an old Orange County friend, not someone I'm dating. I thought it was amusing. I should have clarified because I can see how if you read it thinking it's someone I'm currently in a relationship with it would appear to be a raw deal as opposed to what it was: just a friendly future marriage proposal.]

him: if you're 40 and still not married AND you just happen to move back to the OC, call me
me: are you offering to be my backup?
him: yes, in fact, i am
me: or are you suggesting that I would be your backup
him: no no no. i have no desire to get married (right now). but when you get old n stuff...eh, maybe..
me: yeah, old n stuff
him: the real question here is: do you want children? and by children, i mean - a small yardwork workforce
me: yes I do. I'm glad we're getting all this out of the way before I turn 40
him: you are running out of time
me: thank you