Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Things to think about when naming your imaginary pets

Earlier tonight I went on like six dates with seven guys and then I hit an array of parties, a few summits and one fête before coming home to think about good names for imaginary crime fighting puppies. How is a fête different from a party? If you have to ask you'd never understand. I mean, seriously.

I was thinking about names because I announced earlier that I'd never name a puppy Sal which seemed to ruffle a few feathers. Look people, I just wouldn't and it's not because I had a bad run in years ago with a broker named Sal. Wait, yes it is.

It got me thinking about... what was I saying? I'm very unfocused right now because the TV is on and there are people talking about the job market. More like there are people yelling at me about the job market. Also, there are words flying across the screen. It's very dynamic. You know, if dynamic meant "so busy I want to throw my shoe at the TV."

I'd throw the Magic 8 Ball but then how would I ever make a decision?

Me: Should I throw you at the TV?
Magic 8 Ball: Outlook not so good.

Um, so anyway I was going to tell you about the list of puppy names I'd made, with your help, back when my parents first got Tobey-who-didn't-have-a-name and then I was going to explain that when naming imaginary pets you often have to see them first. For example, I'm currently the proud owner of a pair of imaginary mackerel named Bob and Kelvin. How did I get those names? Well, okay, confession: I overheard them introducing themselves to someone. But the point is that the names really do suit them. One day Kelvin told me he was thinking of going by Chaz and I was like, "Who are you trying impress, Kelvin?" I hope that wasn't too harsh, come to think of it. I want to nurture his imagination while at the same time making sure he's got a grip on reality and strong sense of self. It's a delicate balance I suppose.

6 comments:

a jack with one eye said...

i decided to call my imaginary pet girlfriend "felina," but a few hours later she told me her name was actually "jose."


oh and also, how do you get your magic 8 ball unstuck from the side that says "you're fucked, douche!! hahahhahahaha!!!" i can't seem to get it off that one, no matter how hard i shake it..

Lew said...

Regarding your "Tweet" about Facebook photo uploading...

You are NOT the only one who finds this confusing!!! What the hell is wrong with this site? Dang...

Most everything with FB is so smooth...just not pics...where oh where do I upload them!??!!!??

Prototype said...

I agree. You gotta see what it looks like 1st before coming up with names. But in the case of an 'imaginary pet' - I suppose you would just take a minute or 2 to draw it out on paper, then name it.

Haha, "Lew" just came out of nowhere and started commenting/babbling on Facebook photo uploading like 3 days late. Not to put you on the spot homie, but you're commenting at the wrong place, wrong time.

"Who are you trying to impress, Lew?"

Toddrod said...

Is it me, or did Alison just call me a "feather?"

Toddrod

Joe said...

Parties, summits and one fête... perhaps that's why you were too busy to attend the soirée I held last night in your honor. All the movers and shakers were there. And by movers and shakers I mean me and my imaginary alpacka friend Ernestine. We move and shake a lot.

You should buy 3 parrots and name them Kelvin, Fahrenheit and Celsius.

Then you can buy 4 sheep and name them Kilometer, Mile, Hectare and Litre.

Finally get 8 rabbits and name them Dollar, Euro, Kroner, Yen, Baht, Lira, Franc and Pound.


Me: Does Alison like Toddrod better than me?
Simpsons Magic 8-Ball: D'oh... don't have a cow, man!

Toddrod said...

Ha! Joe! Don't crack me up dude! Alison totally works me over into submission. She has no respect for me, but she told me once that since I clean her bathroom so good she keeps me around! It's all I got! .... it's all I got. *sigh*

Toddrod