More photos!

More photos you guys! It's truly a banner Saturday for you!


Here I am on Red Eye being all smiley.

Here I am being thoughtful.

Here I am making this face.

Yep, another face.

Here I am on Red Eye the week before looking like I was suffering some kind of allergy attack although I don't think I was.

Did I already post this photo?

Photos!

I'm overdue in posting photos so here I go. What a wonderful Saturday surprise for you, right?



Here I am with Jeff Bakalar and Wilson Tang from CNET's The 404.

Here's Jeff during the show.

Here's me before the show.

Here's Jeff, Justin and Wilson the night before at The 404 Meetup.

Here's me looking achingly beautiful in the car on the way home from Tuesday's Red Eye appearance.

I'm happy about the way this camera captures the blue color of my skin. It's a new embalming fluid I'm using. I think it's really working!

Here I am in the green room of Red Eye. Fun fact: It's also the green room used by Morning Show w/ Mike and Juliet and Hannity.

Here's a public restroom key on a giant key chain. I think giant keychains are funny, especially if they happen to be toothbrushes or something related to the business which houses the bathroom. This wasn't a giant wooden stick store though, it was a cafe. How uncreative! Anyway though when I walked out brandishing said key I mumbled to something in line about how I almost lost the key! No one thought it was funny. Or rather, no one else thought it was funny. (I had a hearty chuckle at my joke though.)


Here's a tree in Brooklyn which I uploaded on twitpic with the caption "Coward!"

Here's a pinball machine featuring the likeness of Courtney Friel I think. "Oh my God, I know her!" I exclaimed, pointing to the pinball machine and taking a photo.

"No way! I know her too!" I said, pointing to Ms. Pacman and taking a photo.

Some shots from Friday's Red Eye

Here I am in the green room just being all ravishing and stuff.


And then here I am in the newsroom where I was seated for the first couple blocks of the show.
"Blocks," that's real TV talk. Did I lose you? No? Let me try harder: camera. top of the show. makeup. um... lights... uh... er... um... wait, come back in a few minutes. I need to think more about this.



Still in the newsroom.

Yep, newsroom.

NEWSROOM!


And then I came into the studio and made this face.


And then apparently I laughed so hard my left eyeball popped out.

Adorable Tobey shots

My mom just sent these to me. In other news I cooked bell peppers tonight and now my whole apartment smells really bell peppery. Ok fine, I actually also cooked them the night before and the night before. I'm not one for variety. For example, I was hoping all my clothes, like every last garment would smell like a bell pepper and I'm pretty sure I got my wish.

Why I'm a bad photographer

Every now and then I'm forced to confront what a truly horrible photographer I am—usually when looking at pictures I took. Here is the thing, as a writer I rely on indirection. Rather than just come out and say some guy is a douche bag I would likely get at that point by noticing some offhand exchange or moment which I would then weave into the story. I tend to notice the things that other people don't notice. It's my THING. Except not always. I mean, occasionally I would start a story with "So-and-so is a gigantic douche bag." But So-and-so is the exception that proves the rule. I mean: That guy? He really is off the charts douchey.

But back to the photos. Instead of just taking a photo of the surface beauty, or even the thing I'm trying to take a photo of, I always do this thing where I try to get some kind of weird angle or weird juxtaposition or something and I imagine that it's going to magically turn into awesomeness between the reality which I'm seeing with my eyes and the alchemy of the camera. It never does. I remember taking some pictures at the beach with my sister who happens to be a really great photographer (she's shot some pics that have run alongside some of my stories) and she said, "pay attention to the light." Then she pushed me into the water and when I got out I noticed my wallet and keys were missing.

So anyway, all that is a caveat about the below horrid photos.

So, back to the story of this weekend. I woke up on Saturday wondering who the fat ass in my apartment was and upon realizing I was alone, decided to go to the gym. Then I remembered I no longer belong to a gym so I thought it might be a good day to join one. Then I decided instead, since it was a nice day out, why not jog around Brooklyn and by jog I mean walk fast except for ten feet here or there where I decide to jog? So I embarked on a three hour power walk. It was pretty awesome and now I'm even more in love with Brooklyn than I was before, not counting the years I held a Brooklyn grudge which is a detail not germane to this story.

Whilst powerwalkjogging around I listened to my semi-buddy Doug Benson's I Love Movies podcast. I recommend this if you like things that are funny involving movies that aren't Dustin and my reviews.


Here is Grand Army Plaza. I'm totally going out of order, by the way. My dad grew up right near here.

Here is the bridge over the Gowanus Canal. It's no Goldenrod footbridge, that's for sure. [update: now I'm wondering whether that's actually the canal or just Gowanus. You'd think I would know. But then you'd realize that there's no reason you should have thought I would know.]


Here's the view of lower Manhattan from the Promenade.

Here's another Promenade shot. The promenade is really beautiful—something not really captured in this shot.

Another Promenade shot.

A water taxi. You know what I don't like? Water taxis. Also, water ferries. Basically if you are relying on some kind of public transpo seafaring vessel to convey you from one place to another, I'm not into it. Do you hear me, Venice?

More Gowanus Canal.


A street in Park Slope.

A green room shot from tonight

With the lovely Diana Falzone who is not my sister, though she and I were talking tonight about how people often think we're sisters. This was taken at the end of the night when I had my coat on but she took a few with her camera before the show and promised to email them tomorrow. Get excited!

More photos from Red Eye last night

Here's where I made this thoughtful face.


And then here's where I smiled in a way that looks nothing like me to me.


And then here's where I said I tested positive for Stockholm Syndrome but had gone on to lead a rich and rewarding life. (The truth is that I had to get a mole removed but Stockholm Syndrome was the only thing insurance would cover!)


And then here's where I said something else.


And then something else. Not sure what but pretty sure it was brilliant.


And then here's where I was about to say something amazing.


And then here's where I said something that made everyone start clapping and crying.

And then here's where I ate my upper lip.

a couple green room shots

"We look like bobble head dolls," said Josh. Well, maybe he actually only said he did but I do too here. I didn't realize I had the bobble head filter on. Also, this is the same green room as Geraldo uses. Did I mention I was on Geraldo? A bunch of times? (Not on the show a bunch of times, but mention it a bunch of times?). Why just tonight when Patty Ann Browne asked what I did for the Oscars, I said: "Geraldo!" Then I puffed up in a self-important fashion while Greg made an off-color joke. Also of note is the way this green room's walls are actually green. How cliché.

Three green room shots where I look freakishly pale? Why yes, see below.

Once more to the meringues

Last night in between going to fancy parties and reclining on my solid gold and diamond encrusted divan, I decided to turn my attention once more to the dangerous world of meringues. Think of meringues as a bucking bronco and me as the cowboy foolish enough to think I could tame them. Or think of them as a mechanical bull and me as someone in a bar. A bar which has a mechanical bull. Or don't think of that at all. I can't tell you what to think. I can only tell you that I'm making them without sugar, I'm using Splenda, hence the texture (wooden, cardboardy) and the taste (wooden, cardboardy) is truly out of this world.

Hey, are you the kind of person who likes to eat Popsicle sticks? I have some meringues for you.



Just egg whites, cream of tarter, vanilla, salt, Splenda, gravel, witch hazel, grout, caulk, plaster of Paris and a dash of turmeric.


Then I put the mixture in a pastry bag. While this pastry bag looks megaphone sized in this photo it's actually only the size of a small bullhorn.


Birds eye view of the pastry bag with the meringue mixture inside. How did birds get in my kitchen?



Because I'm fancy and also disgusting, I decided that plain meringues weren't enough so I also made some coffee flavored ones (the middle strips) and then I decided to see what would happen if I threw in some butter buds which is butter flavored powder which I think I can still taste today. I don't recommend it, by the way.