Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Why I'm a bad photographer

Every now and then I'm forced to confront what a truly horrible photographer I am—usually when looking at pictures I took. Here is the thing, as a writer I rely on indirection. Rather than just come out and say some guy is a douche bag I would likely get at that point by noticing some offhand exchange or moment which I would then weave into the story. I tend to notice the things that other people don't notice. It's my THING. Except not always. I mean, occasionally I would start a story with "So-and-so is a gigantic douche bag." But So-and-so is the exception that proves the rule. I mean: That guy? He really is off the charts douchey.

But back to the photos. Instead of just taking a photo of the surface beauty, or even the thing I'm trying to take a photo of, I always do this thing where I try to get some kind of weird angle or weird juxtaposition or something and I imagine that it's going to magically turn into awesomeness between the reality which I'm seeing with my eyes and the alchemy of the camera. It never does. I remember taking some pictures at the beach with my sister who happens to be a really great photographer (she's shot some pics that have run alongside some of my stories) and she said, "pay attention to the light." Then she pushed me into the water and when I got out I noticed my wallet and keys were missing.

So anyway, all that is a caveat about the below horrid photos.

So, back to the story of this weekend. I woke up on Saturday wondering who the fat ass in my apartment was and upon realizing I was alone, decided to go to the gym. Then I remembered I no longer belong to a gym so I thought it might be a good day to join one. Then I decided instead, since it was a nice day out, why not jog around Brooklyn and by jog I mean walk fast except for ten feet here or there where I decide to jog? So I embarked on a three hour power walk. It was pretty awesome and now I'm even more in love with Brooklyn than I was before, not counting the years I held a Brooklyn grudge which is a detail not germane to this story.

Whilst powerwalkjogging around I listened to my semi-buddy Doug Benson's I Love Movies podcast. I recommend this if you like things that are funny involving movies that aren't Dustin and my reviews.

Here is Grand Army Plaza. I'm totally going out of order, by the way. My dad grew up right near here.

Here is the bridge over the Gowanus Canal. It's no Goldenrod footbridge, that's for sure. [update: now I'm wondering whether that's actually the canal or just Gowanus. You'd think I would know. But then you'd realize that there's no reason you should have thought I would know.]

Here's the view of lower Manhattan from the Promenade.

Here's another Promenade shot. The promenade is really beautiful—something not really captured in this shot.

Another Promenade shot.

A water taxi. You know what I don't like? Water taxis. Also, water ferries. Basically if you are relying on some kind of public transpo seafaring vessel to convey you from one place to another, I'm not into it. Do you hear me, Venice?

More Gowanus Canal.

A street in Park Slope.



Not too bad. Pics were a little dark, so if you can make it where the lighting for each pic is a little brighter or maybe mess with the brightness of the pics once you upload them to your Mac that might make things look better.

HEY, if I give you a message to give to Huckabee when you go to do RedEye Wednesday, will you forward it to him there at the FoxNews studios??

EndlessEcho said...

I don't think your photos are bad. For someone like me, who's a paraplegic, it's nice to see pics of places I'll probably never see. Perception is the true judge of quality.

Ted from Accounting said...

Yeah...those sucked! Only because you weren't in them! A little Rosen brightens up any photo!

Chucktate said...

Work out? How about rollerblading? I hooked up with this group http://www.weskateny.org/ some time back when I was in NY on business. It was truly a blast. They skate other days/nights. I skated with them from Central Park to Flushing. It was a blast. You can even bike with them if you are not into skating. They are a fun crowd. I miss NY.

Advanced Prototype 2.0 said...

I hate the term "douche bag." I don't find it funny or insulting. It's played out.

Those photos look fine to me. Besides, you shot it with your BlackBerry.

That water taxi looks like a tank.

Joe said...

Those photos remind me of the trips we took to NYC when I was growing up. We used to go see the circus at Madison Square Garden and shows at Radio City.

We went on the tour at NBC studios a few times, walked around Rockefeller Center, visited the Statue of Liberty.. all the touristy things. Even walking through Grand Central was a big thrill.

I also remember when I was really young I was so scared when we drove over the George Washington Bridge that I would close my eyes.

Our 8th grade class trip was to NYC too. We went to Central Park, Nathan's and saw a movie at Radio City.

Thanks for bringing back some great memories!!!

Ted - I love the new photo!

Brett B said...

Some pretty cool stuff. As far as photography it's all subjective. Just keep the rule of thirds in mind while you're taking shots.

Trapp said...

Are you forwarding the note to Huckabee? While we're asking for favors, I was wondering if you would come over and help me rake the yard.

I definitely recommend walking over jogging. Down the road, your knees will thank you.

I've been hearing a lot of great things about Brooklyn's revitalization in recent years. My mom grew up in the Bronx. NYC was (and is) a beautiful place.

RDOwens said...

I caught you on RedEye last week (Friday?). I checked out your blog.

I am familiar with where you took some of your photographs. I play a game where folks take photos of locations and then post them. The other players need to get to that location and post the coordinates.

A couple years ago I took these photographs. Look familiar?