Sunday, October 19, 2008

I just spray tanned my feet

I did, it's true, I couldn't help it. I mean, I could have. I could easily not have put down a paper towel on the floor of my shower and gone to town on these pale dogs here but—wait, am I the kind of person who refers to my fluorescent feet as "pale dogs"? I don't think so—but anyway, I could have easily not, it's true. However I fear a swath of translucent foot may appear onscreen tomorrow and I don't want to be accidentally sending Morse code. At the same time I don't want to look like someone shoved two carrots out the ends of my pant legs, even though that would be kind of harvesty and seasonally appropriate. If this spray tan experiment goes horribly awry that's what I'm going to say: "Hello, I'm here to talk about politics and entertainment. I dyed my feet pumpkin orange for the occasion. Boo!" Although now it occurs to me that I could just have said my feet were dressed as ghosts and that's why they're so white and "boo!" Dammit!


Scott said...


You don't need tanned feet or legs for the show tomorrow--Staying out of the Sun and away from gimmick products is how you've retained your youthful good looks.

Just wear some tan to dark colored Pantyhose...maybe some Thigh-Highs w/ a nice fishnet pattern!!!

If you really want to make a splash tomorrow wear your hair up w/ some whispys coming down--that will drive the boys crazy!!

Anyway, whatever way you go you'll look great and be funny as always--hopefully you can post a video link so I can eventually see your appearance.

My Aim Is True,


Anonymous said...

Quote of the American FoOT GRAFITI:

¤ø„¸ ¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨ ¸„ø¤º°¨
¨°º¤ø„¸ POPUPS RULE ¸„ø¤º°¨
¸„ø¤º°¨ SPAM ROCKS! `°º¤ø„¸

"I was gonna make a regular comment about tanning sprays but I decided to be the annoyance of the day by putting this in your blog.As you can see, I listen to a lot of rock music on Youtube and love to copy and paste comments....."

Toddrod said...

This is officially the weirdest blog that Alison has written to date. (I think the funniest reporter thing is kicking in).

I keed! I keed!


Joe said...

Excellent job on Mike & Juliet this morning, Alison! You looked great!! I already sent a message to the show demanding they have you back.

The second segment was especially good since there were fewer guests. I just happened to read the Daily Mail article about Madonna this morning too, so I knew exactly what you guys were talking about. She sleeps in a plastic suit? I wonder how much of that stuff is really true.

Now the Daily Mail has an article (here: entitled with a quote from Guy Ritchie, "Making love to Madonna 'was like cuddling a piece of gristle.' "

Hey - I've done that!

ben said...

Alison, please use caution with the spray-on. You don't want to end up in New Jersey:

Brett Jones said...

Ben... Wow! That was awesome. These poor bastards are going to just hate those photos in 10 years.