Thursday, May 15, 2008

It can't be a good sign...

When you find yourself thinking, "Instead of doing any work today... maybe I'll just watch The Muppet Movie."

a) I don't even own The Muppet Movie
b) I'm not some crazed muppets fan, lest you get the wrong idea
c) see, I was looking at the wikipedia page for Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas, because, well, I forget what exactly I was trying to find. I was in one of those internet K holes
d) and that's when the thought occurred to me: The Muppet Movie
e) but I mean, it's ludicrous because were I to forgo productivity for muppets, clearly I'd want to watch The Great Muppet Caper or Muppets Take Manhattan
f) forgo is not spelled forego. I just learned that thanks to dynamic spellcheck
g) isn't dynamic a bit hyperbolic? interesting, sure. but I wouldn't say dynamic
h) "dynamic skiing!" that's what this ski instructor who gave my sister and me ski lessons used to say is what we were going to achieve if we kept up with various embarrassing exercises and mantras. the exercises were things like, on the chair lift, holding your legs straight out and then turning your skis to the left and then to the right. the mantras were things like "hug the mountain" which is what you're supposed to do on your way down to keep your upper body in the right position
i) I misunderstood though and was arrested
j) the mountain was asking for it
k) unbelievable moguls. curves that went for miles.
l) would I do it all over again? hell yes!
m) throw the book at me, lock me up forever, do what you will, I don't care, that mountain and I are IN LOVE and maybe we can't be together in this lifetime, but somewhere, somehow, I will be Mrs. "Ed's Shortcut."
n) I feel a little nauseous
o) maybe it's this "moose crunch" flavored coffee which was a gift and which doesn't even taste like moose
p) oh, in the comments, someone pointed out that I'm often seen on TV with an Au Bon Pain cup. Those are the cups they have at Fox in all the green rooms. Plus the yellow of the cup brings out the gold flecks in my eyes.
q) some shows don't want the cups visible, others are more laissez faire about it all
r) one time I showed up in a dress made entirely of Au Bon Pain cups
s) thank God it wasn't raining that day or else I probably wouldn't have been able to move. I would just been stuck there, like a creature in a tar pit of my own making

6 comments:

Rbastid said...

I've stayed out of work to watch much less, say, Bloodsport.

And thanks for touching on the Au Bon Pain issue....I know theres none there on 5th Ave, so I figured you must walk to the studio, thus helping me with my secret Alison Rosen Satiellite tracking system, which was suppose to be a secret.

I also would have warned you to stay away from the Mac and Cheese at Au Bon Pain, its like Mac and Cheese, but as soup, not a fun 2nd half of work.

Todays Word Verification word of the day: Kjixfu.

Which I believe they sell at Au Bon Pain.

Hugh said...

I was just wondering how the snapshot caption would look if it said "Mr. Horseshoe Lake and Mrs. Ed's Shortcut."

Sweet said...

dude...seriously...I was thinking the exact same thing! only for me, it was Mrs. Mount Hood, which has a more sophisticated ring to it that Mrs. Ed's Shortcut, don't you think?

we should all get together and do lunch...we'll talk about how frigid our respective partners can be, and, how to reproduce like bunny slopes :)

Joe said...

Maybe you can just hum "The Rainbow Connection" while you work. But when you get to "the lovers, the dreamers and me" -- you have to sing that part out loud. You just have to.

At least your spell checker works. I pay big bucks for a new PC and my spell checker says, "This language is no longer available for spell checking. Please select another in the spelling options dialog."

"This language" by the way is ENGLISH!!!

Maybe I should select Swahili, because that's the only other language I'm fluent in.

And my internet connection has been in and out all day - mostly out - making it difficult to get much done. On the other hand, my Grand Theft Auto skills are getting better. (no, not really)

The Au Bon Pain cups? I bet Shepard Smith steals them on the way in to work every morning. He makes $150 million a year and he's still too cheep to buy his own cups! (See - if I had spell checker, I would have spelled "cheap" right. It's so frustrating!)

Lord Melchior said...

Nauseous really means you make other people sick. You are probably feeling nauseated. Your face is killing me, however.

Ted from Accounting said...

I forgot to mention that I love the Muppet Movie! No, not really! But you are still a D'D'D' Dynamic writer!