Wednesday, April 29, 2009

hobbies, a list, a blog, a new column

Hey bunions. Is that the first time I've addressed you by your chosen handle? I think it might be. Anyway, I'm in California where I'm feeling a little sorry for myself because it's my new favorite hobby right behind water yoga and archeology. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Oh yeah, if you're so into archeology then how come you never talk about going on archaeological digs?" Well first of all, some of the digs I go on are top secret and second of all, it's very hard to get internet service when you're in a gigantic ditch. Oh, look what I found here, a postcard I meant to send you from the last dig I went on. Want to know what it says? I'll transcribe it. It says:

"Hey you guys. I'm on an archaeological dig! Don't try to find me because I'm totally on a dig right now!"

See? So can we please just let it go?

Okay, so let's get to the meat of all this.

1. Dustin has a blog which he's been quietly working on but I'm sick of all this quietude. Go read his stuff! He's been reviewing films and actually watching them first. What a traitor

2. I won five bucks in Vegas! Five clams! Five smackaroons! Five big ones! Five dollars!

3. Tobey is as cute as ever.

4. See, I thought it would be super duper fun to have a layover in Las Vegas. It really wasn't. I gambled for about ten minutes and then sat at the gate and fantasized about what I'm going to spend my winnings on. Probably a dream house and a sports car.

5. The flight from Las Vegas to Long Beach was delightful though because it was pretty empty. As much as I like people, which isn't very much, it's great when there aren't very many of them on a flight.

6. Tobey does this thing where he stands on his back legs and kind of pumps his front paws up and down in the air. He should get a job at Hot Dog on a Stick if those are still around!

7. I'm just kind of confused and a little down and just like, "What am I doing with my life and who am I and what's going on and given how freakishly gorgeous I am, am I living up to my beauty potential? When I stare into the mirror and only I stare back, is that selfish of me? Is there some way to give all the needy people in the world mirrors where when they look in, they see themselves but also me? Perhaps me giving a thumbs up sign?"

8. I imagine you probably don't understand what I'm talking about since it's very metaphysical and also something which probably only occurs to the top one point one one one point three point twelve point nine percentile of the population.

9. My parents have a great coffee maker. I'm in love with their coffee maker. I've made like thirteen cups of coffee with it in the last hour. Now I'm shaking and I think I might throw up. The coffee is that good.

10. Not really. I only had three cups.

11. And four red bulls.

12. And half of a five hour energy supplement.

13. Is my new McSweeney's column up yet? I'm going to go check.

14. It is! I totally thought it wasn't going to be! But it is:

15. Maybe I should take a shower.

16. Nah.

17. I have some photos I should upload but I'm too lazy right now.

18. But I still love you guys.


Jefferson said...

By drinking half of a 5-hour energy drink, does that mean you only had 2.5 hours of full energy boost? Or was it 5 hours of 1/2 energy? I'm thinking that the answer might help explain the mirror-staring behavior.

Joe said...

Congrats on your Vegas windfall, Miss R!

Very funny McSweeney's column. I thought the phrase was "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, but teach a man to fish and he'll buy a funny hat."

Regarding #7, my old boss and I used to sit in his office all the time and try to figure out what we wanted to be when we grew up. I still haven't figured it out and I doubt he has. We probably never will.

karpaydm said...

I think I will print out a picture of you and put it on my mirror so every time I look in the mirror I see myself and you looking back at me. I will also put one on the ceiling for when I cannot sleep. And maybe one on the inside of the toilet lid so when I flip it up, there you are! That would be awesome.

Another approach would be to get a tattoo of your face on my face, but I don't think my wife would like that, though she does think you are very pretty. I wonder if I could convince HER to get a tattoo of your face on HER face! Hmmmm...... there must be some way to make that happen. Maybe just on one side since my wife is very pretty and I wouldn't want to miss out on that.

Yeah, that would rule!

coaster1robert said...

Have fun on your vacation Alison,if you get bored you can always video yourself in the shower,or beach.

Breannaaa said...

Oh, I'm on at a pity party. Except, I'm the only one there.

And I wish I did not break the coffee breaker at the office I work at. I'm a putz.

A small bug just joined my pity party. Yay for friends.

Christian said...

Well your windfall is 5 times more than mine. What kind of system did you use? Or did you and your gang of high end thieves and grifters work the con?

Have a great vacation, and don't worry, we will keep the light on for ya.

Brett Jones said...

"Perhaps me giving a thumbs up sign?"

I think #7 was the funniest thing you've ever posted.

Whatever you decide to do Alison I'll be there to support you. Unless it's murdering old people for their social security checks, 'cause that's just plain wrong.

Write a book Alison. Whatever it is I'll buy it, twice. Hell it could even be a thousand pages about how bad of a parent I am and how my children would be better off in foster care and I'd still buy it.

4 the Love of Prototype said...

I can't imagine you gambling.

Do you really drink those?

Ted from Accounting said...

So that explains your blog absence! I'm going to be in Costa Mesa on the 8th and 9th for work! Let's have a RosenFan Club luncheon on one of those days....however, since none of the other bloggers can make it (darn, so sorry guys) we could have lunch by ourselves...I'd even buy so you could save your Vegas winnings!

Think about it...lunch with a confident, rather attractive, funny, BEST personality in the world, successful, accomplished, money to burn (well this might not be quite true), charming, did I mention attractive...guy!

I have to be a better alternative to anything the 404 guys could come up with! Right!?!?! RIGHT?

Something tells me that Joe or Todd or Proto would crash our lunch date somehow! Oh never mind!

Toddrod said...

Kind of funny this blog. It reminds me a little of myself. I think I was Alison's age when I used to do the thing in the mirror. Mirrors cause a lot of introspection about life for some reason. I think it's because we see ourselves as we are. Mirrors don't bs you like friends, family, or even ourselves. They tell it like it is; they can be harsh critics. Stupid mirrors.


Anonymous said...

"Where have you been when not blogging lately ?":

1. Being used as an extra in a CSI Crime Scene Investigation Episode (perhaps to draw higher ratings for the show considering your ALison Rosen).Excuse me for the ass-kissing ?

2. Swept away by the BELLAGIo WATER Fountains and found yourself lost in LAke Meade?

3. Locked yourself in a hotel room after being petrified of the CIRCUS CIRCUS CLOwns ?

4. Being escorted from the Casino because the Security thought you were too young to gamble which is both flattering and disparaging for you personally.

5. Laughed very hard while some present dAY PAUL REvere cried PIG's FLU out loud for the public to hear. And then you respond, "yeah I too saw that Red Bull COmmercial. It was a little raunchy don't you think......."

Robert said...

I wanna be a chilblain

Anonymous said...

If Dustin is blogging on his own now, does that mean he's not going to make videos with you anymore because he's nurturing his own brand?

- Trev

WFG said...

I take a lot of 5 Hour Energon (nerd snort). Red Bull tastes rancid.