Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Who, What, Where, When, Why: Worst Case Scenario Edition

You always hear about the 5 Ws in journalism. You also hear about a 6th letter, H (How), but I don't feel like messing around with that letter tonight. Take that, H! You think you're so cool being the 8th letter of the alphabet. Well I hereby demote you.

Anyway, here are the 5 Ws that would mean things have gone horribly awry.

Who... did I sleep with?

What... did I sign?

Where... did this toe tag come from?

When... did I lose all this blood?

Why... is that gnome winking at me?


WFG said...

But when W stands for William, isn't it W-Wonderful?

warren the turd said...

So H being the 6th letter in the 5 W's is like Pete Best was the 5th Beatle to the fab 4?It must suck being H. Breannaaa..thanks for saying you don't think I smell.May well be the nicest thing anyones ever said to me.I agree that Alison is top drawer.

Prototype 3: Rise of the Machine said...

HAHAHA...fucking Alison and her gnomes...

I was curious as to when gnomes would come up in a post again.

You know you want a piece of that gnome!

Joe said...

I never cared much for the 5 Ws. I prefer the 5 Bs:

- Broads, i.e. girls
- Babes, i.e. girls
- Bitches, i.e. girls
- Booze, i.e. alcohol
- Barbituates, i.e. pills

But that's just me.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Miss McRosen!

Falkenhayn said...

A defense of the letter H: Hhas a long and storied History. In literature among others there are Homer, Dr. Suess' (Suess's) inestimable work Horton hears a Hoo and publishing magnate and Humanitarian Hugh Hefner.

H should also be noted for its unique ability to sub-atomically alter the sound of other letters... see th, sh, ch, ph.

In order to alleviate any negative conotations involving the letter H the spanish J can be substituted for such nazi baddies as Jimmler, Jeydrich, Jess, and of course Jitler.

Finally, H is in the word diptHong and while I can't remember what a dipthong actually is (though it may be th, sh., ch and ph) it is a great word and its awsomeness alone bolsters H's already sterling reputation.

Your BFF Ted said...

Gnomes creep me the heck out!

Your BFF Ted said...

I knew Joe was a pill head!

Prototype 3: Rise of the Machine said...

You forgot beezies, Joe, beezies!

Toddrod said...

Joe forgot Bazoomers

Just sayin'


Toddrod said...

How come when scientists talk about their "genome project" we are supposed to say "GEE NOHM." However, when we talk about "gnomes" we have to say "NOHMS?" I wanna say "GEE NOHMS!"