Monday, January 26, 2009

Ways To Stimulate the Economy

How about listen to it, for once?!?!?!

Leave a little note that it will find in an unexpected place. Like, say, on a dollar bill.

Serve it breakfast in bed.

Give it a homemade coupon book with coupons good for things like "one night at the movies" or "one backrub" or "3 trillion dollars"

You be Ben Bernanke and go from there. Naughty! LOL! :)

Satin sheets in the U.S. Mint

Municipal Bondage Gear

Unplug the phone and practice the Invisible Hand Theory

Just when you're about to file for Chapter 11, think of your grandma

10 comments:

warren sheehan said...

leagalize crack...then cook up a huge nugget and hold it in as long as you can...when exhaling..think
lowering taxes.

converter42 said...

Buy it some new power tools, or how about a ShamWow!

Scott said...

Great thread A Ro!!

Here's some more stuff to work with:

----------------------

Spreadsheet

Member Bank

Stimulus 'package'

Surging markets

Inject Liquidity

In the rears (it's a Mortgage reference people)

Trickle down...

Tbone0512 said...

Ohhh my christ, this fuckin' Hilarious! Good stuff Alison!

EDinATL said...

Alison Rosen's hilarity is worth so much, if she were a stock, I'd take a long position in her.

Steve Spagnuolo said...

Way's to stimulate the economy:

1. Know what the economy is. (What is an economy anyways, I mean all those words such as mortgages, interest rates, stocks,bailout,short-selling, housing market don't even seem to have meaning.)

2. Find what is up with Barney Frank's voice.(Guess that's why his parent's called him Barney.)

3. COnsidering that the economy is the number one issue, Play in your Ipods Pink Floyd's "Money"....

4. Say "If you seek Amy" out loud fast.

Joe said...

Pretty funny!! Well done Alison.

In tough economic times, it's nice to know that both Alison and Anna offer some pretty attractive yield curves. Personally, I always enjoy checking out their fixed assets and their healthy bottom lines.

Toddrod said...

You see Alison! That comment by Joe above would be perfect for your dad to do his vlog. He could say "Shame shame shame on you Joe! My daughter's bottom line is none of your business, and stop trying to stimulate it! For shame!" That would be awesome!

Toddrod

Christian said...

For me it always works to take the economy to dinner, wine and dine it, and then play some Barry White. That always gets it goen.

Or a couple of roofies. As we call it the "Gutfield".

Ron J said...

Alison,

I took your advice and stimulating the economy worked! Maybe a little too well, now its all clingy. I think it mistook a quick yield for a long term investment!