Monday, August 04, 2008

More Easy Pickles

Yesterday I wrote about how I misread a shop sign and thought it said "Easy Pickles" which I then imagined making frequent reference to when discussing running errands however just now I realized a couple more uses for Easy Pickles.

1) As a response to "cool beans."

Person number one: I just bought these new Guatemalan pants
Person number two: right on
Person number one: cool beans
Person number two: easy pickles

Now, perhaps that's not quite fair because in the above example both person number two and number one are of near equal levels of irritating as evidenced by the immediate use of "right on." Here's another, perhaps more realistic scenario:

Person number one: I'm going to check my mail
Person number two: cool beans
Person number one: easy pickles

2) As a passive-aggressive way to make someone feel vaguely self-conscious, along the lines of "easy, tiger!" but less playful, more insidious

Person number one: I'm going to eat some Cheetos!
Person number two: Easy, pickles!

Person number one's inner monologue: "What? Did he just called me Pickles? I don't get it. Should I get it? That's weird. Do I eat too many Cheetos? What does that have to do with pickles? Do I smell like dill?"

For maximum mindfuckery I'd recommend tossing a THERE into it like this:

Person number one: I'm going to play xbox
Person number two: Easy there, pickles!


betch said...

Easy there, pickles!

Hah! Your words make me so outwardly happy.

Joe said...

Pretty good!!

Easy, Pickles is like a phrase that used to be kind of common, Slow down, Sally or Hang on, Sally. I've said that to many people but never to a person actually named Sally.

And if you were friends with actress Christina Pickles, you could always say: easy pickles, Pickles.

Bloggers note: I KNEW there was an actress with the last name Pickles, but I thought it was Cynthia Pickles or Cindy Pickles. Took a little work to find out her first name was Christina. Ninety eight seconds to be exact.

perfect just like mommy said...

I very rarely actually laugh out loud when I read blogs, (because I'm dead inside) but this made me laugh. You're the best. -Lilly

Toddrod said...

Wow, there are some new blogging blood today! Welcome you new bloggers! Just remember to come back and participate often. It's easy pickles.

Toddrod (adding my signature is also an easy pickle)

Ted from Accounting said...

Ro Ro in da house!

Ok, I love Kosher Dill Pickles so this post made me hungry. In addition, I love playing XBOX 360(I know I'm like a freakin teenager at heart). So I don't get whether you were bashing the XBOX in that post or not Miss Rosen!

Ooooooooh Alison used the F word!

Kevin said...

That has to be one of the funniest blog posts I've ever read. It was one of those laugh out loud moments, where the people around you look at you like you're crazy.

Kurtis said...

I just got good at using cool beans in the correct manner and now I find out its outdated.

Alexander James said...

I'm playing catch-up with your blog so forgive me for late comments, but I propose that another realistic scenario for "Easy Pickles" could be:

Person One- "You think you can get her number?"
Person Two- "You kidding me? She's no easy pickles!"

Also, had you and Lionel Richie only gotten together and collaborated, the song may have instead been entitled "Easy Like Easy Pickles."
Just a thought.