Friday, June 27, 2008

Olfactory/auditory assault!

Tonight at the store there was a guy making this super annoying whistling chirpey sound that sounded so much like mating parakeets that I wondered if it wasn't someone's super annoying cell phone ring. It wasn't though, it was a guy making this sound and it was bugging the crap out of me and made my time in the frozen foods section less than relaxing. "Seriously, with the birds, seriously?" is what I kept saying to myself while shooting looks at him and then around the aisle trying to figure out if there was any way I was actually hearing birds. I should have been saying "Seriously, James Audubon, seriously?" in my head, because that would have been more entertaining, but I always think of things to think after the fact!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I came home and the walk from the front door to the elevator smelled like the kind of wood shavings that are inside a hamster cage. And not fresh wood shavings. It smelled like a soiled habit-trail. And the walk from the elevator to my door smelled like wood shavings mixed with meatballs.

Now, a word or two about Red Eye. I may have said some negative things about the Verne Troyer sex tape but here's thing: I watched it for a second and it was truly horrifying. Much moreso than you would imagine. I may have yelled "my eyes! my eyes!"

The only thing more horrifying is the picture of a cat with no face that Michelle Collins was making people look at. I refused. No faceless cats for me I said while walking around the green room holding my hands to the sides of my eyes so I wouldn't see it. Bill and Josh were shrieking so much that I said we should film their reaction to this faceless cat and call the video "Two Girls, One Cat."

5 comments:

Toddrod said...

Yeah, that was pretty freaky. I don't blame you Alison for being upset by the video. Additionally, if anyone ever asks you if you wanna see a video titled Toddrod and a pint of rainbow sherbert I also hope you will divert your eyes.

Toddrod

Ted from Accounting said...

I'm not sure how anyone known as Mini Me can produce a sex tape but this is America and yes that was disturbing!

Speaking of weird...I thought it was from this blog but maybe I got it somewhere else...in regards to the DogPile.com live search results from users!?!?!? Anyway, I watched it for a few minutes and people search for some freaky stuff! One search was Toilet Seat Slave Unit...I was like WTF. Hopefully I got that search link from here or never mind!

Michelle Collins was funny last night...I liked her loaded Tampon joke!

Have a great day Blog people...I'm going back to bed!

Rbastid said...

Are you sure Bill Oddie wasn't following you around making the bird noises?

I, as ussual, missed the show last night but hopefully I'll get to watch the tape tonight since its another lonely night, just me and the gimp.

I think you and Collins together should be interesting to say the least, and something more then interesting to say the most.

Joe said...

Many years ago I was in a laundromat and there was an older couple sitting at one of the tables. They could have been homeless - certainly looked like it.

Anyway, the guy was holding a little bell and he would ring it whenever someone walked by or when someone walked in the place. They never got up from the table the whole time I was there. Very creepy.

When I run into people like that I just imagine them pulling out automatic weapons and mowing everyone down. Never saw them again, thank goodness.

The video of Troyer on RE was pretty disturbing. I had to look away when they froze it with his tongue sticking out. But maybe they're on to something - I'd pay money to NOT have to watch it.

Brett said...

Sorry for the tardiness of my complements.

Funny as always young lady.

What's up with the hair? It looked very brown last night. Was this just a trick of the lights or are you trying something new?


My Word Verification for this reply: "ebazsh".

It sounds like the an exotic middle eastern dish.

P.S. In an effort to not look like a grammatical fool in your eyes (I'm sure I failed somewhere else in this reply, likely this parenthetical), I just searched Google to double check the correct use of a Colon.

P.P.S. My Google search string was "proper use of a colon". I'm a bit shocked all but one of the links listed in the results were related to grammar. The one standout was a link to coloncleansingsupport.com. Not a single link to an ass fetish sight either. What's the net coming to?