Thursday, November 22, 2007

More Wrong Reasons to Get a Dog

I'm thinking about getting a dog, which I've been thinking about for awhile, so I decided to thumb through the ASPCA's Complete Guide to Dogs, which I'm sad to report doesn't have enough cute pictures. I came to a page called "The Wrong Reasons to Get a Dog" and it includes such wrongs reasons as "because you are lonely," "to teach a child how to be responsible," "because you feel sorry for a dog in pet shop," "because you think your home needs protection" and "as a surprise gift." Great list, I tittered to myself, under my breath. It stops just short of being useful! Naturally I leapt into the breach.

More wrong reasons to get a dog:

Because you are hungry
Because your last one died and you want to replace it--with parts from the new one
Because you're tired of walking around and you have this saddle just collecting dust (only works with big dogs)
Because you're tired of dating (ditto)
Two legs bad, four legs sexy!
Because you've never bedazzled a moving target
You want to enter it into dog shows (just kidding!)
You want to breed a puppy and a guppy (it doesn't work, btw. water everywhere!)
You found a most curious book called "To Serve Dog"
Those tiny sweaters aren't just going to wear themselves

4 comments:

Ted from the Kennel Club said...

First off, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

I actually have the world's smartest German Shepherd (hard to believe, huh?)...No, really it's true. He cost 12K. I just watched a top breed contest on TV and the Boxer looked so awesome! I've tried the lil' sweater thing with my dog (bad very bad) and I don't think it would work with a boxer either or anything bigger than a chihuahua. Oh, snow boots don't work well on big dogs either...LOL

"Because you are hungry?" WTH? Maybe start with pet fish...if you enjoy sushi.

Off to feed my face! With Turkey not fish...Oh never mind! :)

Anonymous said...

This is gonna sound just awful, but what the hay. I think one of the best reasons not to get a dog is if you want to star it in a production of your next beastiality flic. Yeah, I'm shaking my head too. That's a terrible thing to say. Lord, I apoligize for that, be with the starving pygmies in New Gunei.

Michael.
Louisiana.

Anonymous said...

Also a Happy Thanksgiving!!

I've also been thinking of getting a dog. But after reading this list, now rethinking it. Wow, this blog has everything.

Maybe I'll just move to India.

B.G.

Anonymous said...

Quote of the day:

"The reason why I have it said multiple times in my movie is because it really means I LOVE YOU in Italian...."


Martin Scorcese referring to the countless utterance of the F__word in his recent film The Departed

(Excerpt from Timeout Magazine-By Alison Rosen)