Saturday, November 24, 2007

I always…

feel a little mournful before I fly. The whole process seems violent somehow, the rushing and the crowds and the jostling, the carrying heavy bags, the putting your trust in something that's inherently kind of scary. Maybe that's what it is for me, deep down being separated from people that care about me and from those I care about makes me feel like I'm pushing my luck. Or maybe I just feel especially mortal right now (except I've always felt the mournful feeling before I fly). I remember.... I was about to go off on a really sad tangent but my eyes filled with tears so I think I won't. See what the pre-flying does to me? I'm always fairly fine once I'm on the plane though. So there's that.

On a lighter note, Gale Harold and Ken Marino kind of look vaguely similar.


Ted AKA Kevin Bacon's Agent said...

Until they perfect the Star Trek Transporter thing…I will have similar feelings about flying. See; just start your own Time Out – Los Angeles Magazine and problem solved. :)

I know the perfect book to help you get your “groove back.” It’s called “Life’s Greatest Lessons – 20 Things that Matter.” It’s a quick read…perfect for a flight and I guarantee it will be more beneficial than a half-day at Tony Robbin’s seminar. Trust me!

Oh, Marino, Ken appeared in Florentine, which starred Penn, Chris, who appeared in Foot Loose which starred Bacon, Kevin...ZOMG this works every time!

Anonymous said...

Wow Ali, you're gonna make me cry. There's nothing worse than seeing a woman cry. I'd like to say that I can relate to what you're talking about,but I can't. I've never flown before, and probably never will. I've always been afraid of man-made things, such as planes and roller-coasters, etc. Well, I'm off to cook some breakfast. Hope you had a safe flight and are in better spirits.


rabiddogg said...


Maybe you can borrow one of Gutfeld's Pegasus instead of flying in a plane. They don't offer peanuts, but rather raisenettes.

Anonymous said...

Well, It's a rainy dreary day here in Louisiana today. The temp. is 49degrees, it's windy, and pretty much what some might call a terrible day. It's days like these I try to make a conscious effort to keep a positive state of mind. It's the appreciation of the little things that get me through. I had two cups of Hot Chocolate so far this morning. Oh yeah, with marshmallows. I cooked myself a good breakfast. While doing this I put on one of my favorite cd's, Evanescence. ( it takes a big man to admit that. ) I enjoy Amy Lee's voice. It's calm and very soothing. I'm gonna do a little light house cleaning. Later, I'll curl up with a good book. Call some friends and have a light-hearted conversation. It's these subtle things that I find joy in. That, and also having a place to come and vent a little. This is a very unique blog. We all keep it real and we don't feel the need to be "on" all the time. So today, my goal is to find happiness in the little things. Despite what the weather is telling my subconscious brain to do. Have a great day er'body.


Anonymous said...

I am no fan of the experience either.
Remember to chew gum—my ears are still f-ed up from my trip last July.
For the anxiety I would recommend alcohol (As Homer would say, ‘It’s the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.’). Aim for that special place between buzzed and drunk.
If you do not drink, I have no idea other than deep breathing or getting absorbed in a book or writing. I guess these suggestions are pretty obvious, like most “expert” advice or analysis--like the body language expert you satirized soo well.
My gobbledygook suggestions are just my way of showing support.
Hope it’s as painless as possible.
(Find some music that will help you escape the pain or wallow in it---both methods have been therapeutic for me) (Beatles=escape) (Replacements=wallow) (Or sometimes vice versa as both bands were multi-dimensional).

Chris M.
Best stress reducers: Exercise / Sex / Music / Alcohol----in that order (that’s the order of effectiveness for me---always subject to change) (usu. too much of the last two and not enough of the first two).

Anonymous said...

Alrighty, I have a confession to make. I've tried dealing with this on my own, but I can't seem to find any answers to this puzzling thought that I have. I am in love with Lois Griffin on Family Guy. There's just something about her. I don't know if it's her accent,her confidence in wearing the same article of clothing day in and day out. Or, it's the isosceles triangle she has for a nose. Perhaps I'll save this for my psychiatrist. I just can't seem to get her out of my head.

Michael. "the resident observationalist,deep thinking, comedian."

P.S. I'm sure this one bombs too! My expectations aren't that high.
Besides,even Jay Leno bombs every once in a while.

Anonymous said...

I can understand the flying thing. Though I don't go through it myself. I usually enjoy a flight away or to somewhere. But I travel light.
A life on the run makes some things easy. But one day, I will find that one-armed man who killed my wife. And my name will be cleared.

Fugitive Guy

One thing I do at the airport to get my mind off things, is make up little backstories of other people there. Great time waster. But that could just be me. It usually is.

DogOnCrack said...

I'd rather spend 2 days in a car than 2 hours on a plane. Helicopters are the way to go.

It's Ted Time said...

Alison, since these posts were approved, I take it your flight went well…unless I’m premature, which only happens in blog posts.

I love Evanescence as well…in particular “Broken” “Lithium” and the beautiful song “My Immortal” which is ironically about losing a loved one and how even though he/she is gone, she still can't forget him and the memories of him/her haunt her. It is a story of lost love and ardent aching and pain that accompanies it.

On a lighter note…does anyone know where I can get a Nintendo WII? Those damn things are sold out everywhere!

Anonymous said...

Darth Vader voice, "I sense a disturbance in the force...*exhale*..." Saw that you're gonna be on Red Eye tonight. My alarm is already set. Look forward to checking it out... Have a great show!

Michael. "part of Ali's entourage." ....figuratively speaking of course.

Anonymous said...

Ted, my favorite cd of Evanescence is "anywhere but home." One of their earlier ones. I have the cd, plus it has a dvd of them in concert and music videos. I suppose if I had to choose a fav. it would be "bring me to life." I love Amy Lee. Her voice is amazing. I think she is one of the most beautiful women on the planet. She's a natural beauty. As far as the W11, maybe Ebay would be a good place? I haven't been a gamer for a few years now. The last game I played was Madden 2004.
Everytime I see your name Ted, I can't get a song out of my head. I can't remember who sang it but I think the title was.. "I wanna be a cowboy,,and you can be my cowgirl. towards the end it says..."My name is Ted,, and one day, I'll be dead, yo! Yo! Yo!. From the 80's if memory serves me correctly. I must know who sings this. I need closure!!

Louisiana. "Sportsmans Paradise."

Ted the Cowboy said...

Yoda's voice..."You seek closure? Mmmmm, Don't underestimate the power of Ted!"

I Wanna Be A Cowboy - Boys Don't Cry

Listen to it here: Don't Cry - I Wanna Be A Cowboy.mp3

I just realized that I lost my USB drive at work last Tuesday...I can't %$#%^ believe it! Hundreds of hours of work is on it! Pray I find it...It's backed up but still I'm depressed. Arghhhhhhh

The WII is for someone else but I hear it is kinda fun. I will send my underlings in search of one. If not Ted is an expert EBAY shopper, thanks!

Alison, I hope you will give a "shout out" to all your faithful bloggers tonight! Maybe you could give us a secret signal on the "wink" "wear pink glasses" or just say "Yo Yo Yo Sup my homies T & M." Oh well have a great time...I will be spending the better part of the day in search of a white & green thumb drive...let me know if you find one! :)

Ted said...


I don't recall actually seeing Amy Lee before but I'm sure she is better looking than Louis Griffin. I will compare noses and get back with you. I will also check out Anywhere but Home...Thanks!

Well time to work...Look forward to seeing you on Red Eye tonight Miss Booya!

Question: Whatever happened to that girl named Rachel (I think) that sat next to Bill...Who was she and did they fire her?

Anonymous said...

I Wanna Be a Cowboy
Boys Don't Cry

Riding on the range,
I've got my hat - on,
I've got my boots - dusty.

I've got my saddle
On my horse.
He's called....T-t-t-t-t-trigger
Of course.

I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy

(woman's voice)
Riding on the chuck wagon,
Following my man.
His name is Ted,
Can you believe that?
Camping on the prairie
Plays havoc with my hair.
Makes me feel quite dirty,
Though we all do sometimes

I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy

Looking like a hero,
Six-gun at my side,
Chewing my tobacco.
Out on the horizon,
I see a puff of smoke.
Indians on the warpath,
(Indian voice) White man speak-em with forked tongue.
Or not.
I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy

My name is Ted,
And one day I'll be dead yo yo.

Ha!! I finally found the lyrics to the song. It was driving me nuts!! It was a one Hit Wonder of the 80's. I have now found closure. For those of you keeping score at home.


Anonymous said...

Alison Rosen: if beauty and charm were a Hot Pocket, I would get her very hot in about 3 minutes. Take her out and see how hot her insides were. Then I would eat her and possibly share her with one of my neighbors.

Thank you, I'll be here all week.
That's gold Jerry, Gold!!