Monday, October 22, 2007

What the cluck


Not asking for it

I have a PETA calendar hanging in my kitchen which, to be honest, has less to do with my feelings about PETA than my needing a free calendar. On each day it lists an animal rights landmark, like 50 muskrats liberated or taunting geckos outlawed. On October 18, "a chicken-roping contest was canceled, 2004." But I keep thinking it says "chicken-raping." Each time I see it, even though I've now seen it a number of times, I misread it. For nearly one month I've been having the exact same series of thoughts upon seeing this calendar: "Chicken-raping contest canceled. Wow, chicken-raping? A contest? There really are some sick people in this world. it's a good thing PETA got that canceled. I can get behind that... oh wait, chicken-roping!"

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Alison, you are like sooooo hot. I just wanna get with you because I've never had a woman.

Mikey, the Irish Setter

spaceagent said...

Red Eye should put out a 2008 calendar. I'm also waiting for bobble-heads of Greg, Bill and Andy, various action figures of Greg's houseboys and Red Eye guests, an Activity Pit/Dungeon Playset with all sorts of B&D paraphernalia, and little printed cards so you can "intro" all your friends. Fun for the whole family! Gotta get 'em in the stores by Christmas.

Anonymous said...

I would think PETA would go after every male on the planet, due to the fact that all males choke their chicken almost daily. Maybe this could be a new Olympic Event.

Michael. "the trend setter." often imitated never duplicated.

Louisiana. Home of Bobby Jindal!!!
I'm sure he's rooting for the "Indians". in the world series.

Anonymous said...

Well Mikey, you pretty much said it right. If someone can write on a blog at 5:35 in the morning, then chances are they don't have a woman. Hmmmmm!!!!

Michael "the trend setter."
Louisiana.

Anonymous said...

Another piece of advice Mikey. If you've never been with a woman before, you might want to start small. You can't go from a 40 yr. old virgin to snagging someone of Alison's caliber. Keep pluggin' away though.

Michael.
Louisiana.

rabiddogg said...

"Chicken Raping"?

I guess that brings a whole new meaning to the age old question, "Which came first the chicken or the egg?"

Anonymous said...

Can I make a movie that details the autobiographical account of myself in which you are also a part of the whole cast ? By the way, hows my writing ?

electron john said...

I'm glad those PetaPanzies haven't yet dicovered my chicken raping contest, right behing Vic's Pooch Palace. Allison, we'll donate every raped chicken to your favorite activist charity.

Anonymous said...

Well, I tried to watch the show last night and didn't make it. I made it until 1:30 then I passed out. It's such a shame cause I love the show so much. I guess Red Eye has lost a viewer. Through no fault of my own. This saddens me.

Michael. "the trend setter."
Louisiana.

Anonymous said...

I'm sad and lonely. Will someone be my friend?

Mikey, the Irish Setter

Anonymous said...

Hey Alison , why is it that you can't find beautiful women buying toilet paper in a store ? By your favorite Power Ranger, Optimus Prime.....Really it's a robotic truck whose talking. Don't tell the government !!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, I must be confused. Is this match.com?

Michael. "the trend setter."
Louisiana.

Anonymous said...

If you don't like that transformer post I worked hard writing to see it posted in this blog, then at least make a referance about the many autobots dying against our very enemy Megatron in tomorrows Red Eye. I hope I'm not too demanding with this request. Yours Truly, Optimus Prime. (Really, this is from a truck.)

Anonymous said...

I thought Optimus Prime was a transformer. But hey, everyone makes mistakes.

Michael. " "
Louisiana.