Monday, February 02, 2009

Drinking games that will get you drunk

In honor of today's organized whiffleball championship, or Superbowl Sunday as you people insist on calling it, I bring you the following drinking games that will get you drunk. And yes I know I'm a day late:


Drink anytime someone says something

Drink after every time you swallow... a drink

Drink when you see a hat

Drink when you see rat

Drink when you rhyme... either intentionally or unintentionally

Drink when something happens during a televised sporting event

Drink when you see someone wearing something with pockets

Drink every time you think about sex... and every time you don't

Drink every time you think about aardvarks... and every time you don't

Drink when it dawns on you that there's something weird about the fact you associate sex with aardvarks

8 comments:

Ted from Accounting said...

Are you B.U.I. again!?!?!?

Blogging under the influence?

Prototype said...

Aardvarks! Hell yeah that's what I'm talking about!

Wow Alison, you did it again! Sometimes I'm curious as to what goes on in your mind...for coming up things like this to blog about. Haha.

Alison: "Hmm...so what's going on, what should I do? Oh I know, how about I create a list of things to get people fucked up?!"

Normally, for drinking games, I like to play a game I invented a while back called, "Shot till you drop!" - where I call out someone for a one-on-one game to see who can take more shots before someone hits the ground. We would stand across a table from one another and alternate taking shots of all types of liquor. And I'm proud to say that I'm still undefeated! I'm proud of my high alcohol tolerance.

warrensheehan said...

damn you take all the fun out of drinking games...I thought i was the only one who advarks and sex in the same sentence

warrensheehan said...

why is there something weird about associating advarks and sex???

Anonymous said...

Since this post is about drinking games I just have to say I get allergic to beer cuz I turn into a tomato with allergies and itch like hell. PLus I also want to add that last night could have been a miracle should the other team win.I'm sure You don't know anything about football so I'm guessing you wouldn't care what I meant by that .Also, this speaks for all those who rooted for the underdog the other night but were left disappointed. ( They're probably like me saying the words "Gosh I hate those F%cking Steelers".....).............

JCBowlin said...

You kill me Alison! Thanks for the drinking game. You're the beft fwiend I eva haf...I luf you man!

Joe said...

I'm sorry I missed the Q&A last night, but I enjoyed the vlog! I've been wondering how you and Anna became friends.

Has Anna ever told you how she and I first met? Possibly not. But it's a curious tale, so pull up a cup of coffee while I tell you...

It's a coincidence that today is Groundhog Day because Anna and I first met 7 years ago today, in New Orleans. Anna was there doing a story (something about sex I think) and I was there pursuing... well, let's just say I was there pursuing a diversion from life.

It was at the Alibi, a small bar just off Bourbon Street in the French Quarter. Anna was sitting at a table alone. I didn't know who she was but I knew right away I wanted to talk to her. So I wandered over...

Me: Are you in town for the convention?

Anna: What convention?

Me: I don't know... it's my standard pickup line.

Anna: Cute.

Me: My name is Joe.

Anna: Anna.

Me: May I join you?

Anna: I'd really rather be alone.

Me: You look like a woman who should NEVER be alone.

Anna (laughing): What cheesy movie did you get that from?

Me: Double Indemnity. It was nominated for 7 Oscars. Fred MacMurray picks up Barbara Stanwick in a bar, then have an affair and begin to plot the murder of her husband.

Anna: Do they get away with it?

Me (moving closer): What do you think?

Anna: I really have to go.

Me: Why don't you stay?

Anna: Why should I?

Me: The night is young... and this place serves wings past 11pm.

Then I leaned over and gave her the slightest kiss on the cheek.

Anna: What kind of fool do you think I am?

Me: How many kinds are there?

And then she slapped me.

And I slapped her back.

She slapped me a second time! And I knew then this was a woman who wouldn't be trifled with.

We exchanged some more clever banter, but I won't go into intimate details about the rest of the evening. Let's just say I didn't have to pay for a second night at my hotel.

Our paths have crossed several times since then. But due to the vagaries of time and circumstances, we never resumed our tête-à-tête. And yet, I still wonder what might have been if she had liked wings a little more.

Dan said...

I prefer taking a shot every time I hear the word Roxanne in the Police song. Or, if you're in a group, everytime someone swears during the movie Glengarry Glenross.