Sunday, January 18, 2009

Ribbons

Went to dinner with my sister who's also pretty shaken up by the news tonight. We were remembering little things about Brooke and I mentioned that she had a cowlick in her bangs and she always wore ribbons in her hair (her mom had this amazingly organized ribbon collection). For some reason the ribbons really got to my sister. "I just can't believe that little kid is gone." And then: "But of course she wasn't a little kid." And see, now I'm remembering more stuff, like how she had a house full of cats and I was allergic to cats and spending the night, which I did all the time, was a sneezy, itchy affair if I didn't take allergy medication early enough. She had a German Shepherd named Polo. Also, we drew on pillowcases with magic markers at one of her bday parties and I drew all my pets and their names. I still use that pillowcase as a sleeping bag cover (both the sleeping bag and pillowcase are in California which is why I can't go camping in case you were thinking of asking me). Another quote from my sister: "She was so little." (She was one of the shortest kids in class growing up.) Also, there were best friend necklaces. Two of them. I had the "Be Fri" half of the hearts and she had the "St End" part. And then there was this terrible summer camp we went to except she actually liked it and went back the next year. I think maybe I felt a little betrayed by that. Like: how could you like this total hellhole? Since when do we have different opinions?

We did grow apart. She got into 4-H and I got into makeup. We both rode horses for awhile but she was actually really good and jumped and won ribbons (again with the ribbons). She moved away in 7th grade I think. 6th grade? 8th grade? We kept in touch for awhile and then lost contact. We emailed again a couple years ago and I remember thinking we didn't have that much in common anymore. Except even as I say this I can remember her phone number. I think she was the first person I ever really talked to extensively on the phone. We were Facebook friends and I think Myspace friends. She was tagged in a bunch of pictures after her death and the thing that's kind of haunting me right now is that I looked at a bunch of pictures of her about a week ago without realizing they were uploaded in memoriam.

I've written before about how it's the little mundane details of a person's life that are crushing and human. You may have read this before but if not, here's more on that.

11 comments:

Steve Shamy said...

I tease you sometimes Alison but loosing anyone you've known for a while (relative or friend) will have lasting effect. You're a sensitive young woman and if you ever want me to listen, or talk with you contact me on FB, MS or use the email I have listed on either. Steve

Steve Spagnuolo said...

The mood has changed in this blog and apparently an overcast cloud of gloom has floated above you lately. Just came to say that I wish you the very best.......

BlackWolf said...

There is an actual 7-ish step process to grieving. I don't recall all the steps or their order but you can google it I am sure.

Anouther thing I am sure of is that death happens to us all, and personally I do not fear it. The way I figure it, we are hear on earth for a porpose, weather it's to spread the word of Christ(my personal belive), or simply to contribute to the compost heap(very green and eco-friendly if your into that) we must seek out that purpose, that destiny, and fullfill it. Or at least keep trying.

I am sorry that you lost a friend, but happy that you still have all these fond memories (except maybe hellcamp(although it's the bad memories that give us contrast for how really good the good times really were) ) to build a mental monument to her that you can always come back to and enjoy.

So take your time, remember her as a compainion on your walk thru life, cry for the loss, and when it's time celebrate the completion of a lifecycle.

Joe said...

That's a beautiful post, Alison.

It reminds me of two girls I went to school with (all through grade school and high scool). They were best friends and lived a couple of houses away from each other, which was around the corner and up the hill from where I lived.

They were always together. You rarely saw one without the other. They were both very pretty and two of the smartest kids in every class. I was friends with them, but I was never part of their "inner circle" so to speak.

Anyway, it sounds like your friendship with Brooke was a lot like theirs.

Hope you're feeling a little better today.

Dudley Smith said...

Alison,

In your first post on this subject you wondered what the best way to handle this news was. I'd say you've responded admirably. We should all be so lucky to get such a touching eulogy from someone we hadn't seen in 20 years.

DarkKnight3565 said...

Great post. What a wonderful way to pay tribute to your friend and speak on your loss. Sounds like you were both made richer by your friendship. I wish I could have known her. She sounds like a terrific person.

rick275 said...

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=3436257;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC;forum_view=forum_view_collapsed;guest=53052436

This skydiving site has a memorial for all those who have died in this sport. Here is the one for Brooke.

alison said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
alison said...

Thank you. For some reason the link didn't publish entirely. Here it is: http://tinyurl.com/9lhzcr

coaster1robert said...

That was real sad about your sister and your dad. :(

Ted from Accounting said...

Amazing post Ro Ro!

My best friend sky dived there about two months ago...he was trying to talk me into it! As you know from my previous posts...I'm terrified to fly so that wasn't happening...I saw the pics of Brooke on that forum! She looked so happy...that is what life is all about!