Saturday, December 06, 2008

The Annual Alison

I was musing today about myself and books, but more about myself, and I was thinking that I should write a book called The Twelve Days of Alison but then I was thinking that isn't enough, it should be the 365 Days of Alison or maybe The Daily Alison and then I was thinking, hey, don't put all the cans in one bag and all the bottles in the other, bag person, because I can't carry that and what the hell? Did I neglect to mention I had these thoughts at the store? To be fair, she wasn't really doing this, I just thought she might because it seems people who pack your grocery bags can't resist organizing into like items which I find really annoying and short-sighted because then you have one bag filled with toilet paper and kleenex and another filled with bowling balls and you try to walk forward but you just spin in place. I totally hate that.

So then I was thinking I should write a book of advice to people in vocations where I have no experience. For example: Grocery bag packers should not group by like items. Here's another: Doctors should not tell you about how sick they feel so that as you're walking out of the office you actually say "hope you feel better." (that actually happened to me years ago.) Here's another: bus drivers shouldn't be prone to road rage. Here's another: prostitutes shouldn't wait till the third date. Here's another: Lion tamers shouldn't smell like elk meat.

You know, but funny

7 comments:

Toddrod said...

It's good to know that Alison is ready for life as a bag lady.

I keed, I keed!

Toddrod

Prototype said...

Interesting thoughts...carry on.

annalytical said...

what about 'writers shouldn't like reality shows' or 'indecisive people shouldn't buy couches' (ok, indecisive people doesn't count as a career choice, although maybe it should).

catching up on your posts made me miss you!

what if we only communicated through blog comments?

Joe said...

I always ask the grocer to bag my stuff alphabetically. And God help the person who puts the Zucchini in with my Apricots.

Have fun on Red Eye tonight Alison!

Brett Jones said...

Next time Greg/Andy/Bill are off, I think Alison, Anna David and Diana Falzone should take over the show. All the guests will have to be female with a token handsome guy in the "Legs" chair, only he'd be shirtless.

hugh said...

I like the circus angle. Trapeze artists should be able to ride a swing at the park and obesity is not conducive to partner-catching.

Ted from Accounting said...

I recommend you giving out annual Alison blogger awards at new years!

I know my recent absence disqualifies me for the most dedicated but maybe I could earn the blogger-citizenship award! They give those out to just about anyone!