Saturday, October 04, 2008

Things I'm just having fun with

Wendy and I have thrice updated our page so I hope you're all up in that shit.

Also, tomorrow when I do stand up I'm going to "just have fun with it."

And then I was thinking, is there really anything in life that you shouldn't just have fun with?

And then I was thinking that I guess you shouldn't just have fun with heart surgery.

Although I think the doctors on Grey's Anatomy just have fun with most of their surgery, but that's TV and not real life and plus they're really shitty doctors, I know this because they left a towel in that one woman. Remember?

Oh and by the way now that I'm doing stand up I expect a whole bunch of hackneyed observations to start flowing out of me like, like, what's a standuppy metaphor? Like herpes out of Paris Hilton, am I right?

I hope you're as excited about this new turn of events as I am.

Okay then.

Oh, also: earlier I was at the Starbucks inside Barnes and Noble which is doubly offensive to Brooklyn since it's all mom and pop around here but there I was, lining the coffers of Big Coffee Beans and Books and there was a pastry called something like "Flaky strawberry fruit purse" and I was thinking that it would be funny if it said "with real quarters baked inside." But it didn't say that, because it's a pastry, not a comedian.

6 comments:

Brett Jones said...

If your act is like one of your blog posts you'll do well. This joke about the pastry is classic AMR.

Of course drinking a little to much and wearing a short skirt couldn't hurt with the audience either.

Are they going to be recording the event? I hope the videos make it online.

Scott said...

Alison,

I like the ideas being tossed around for your own interactive website (away from AP). I also like the idea for a secret society for your fans, but I draw the line a sex re-assignment...I like you a lot but not quite that much.

Seriously, when and if you move forward with it I would suggest you stick with a simple easy to remember domain name. Something you can quickly plug on Red Eye and other appearances that people will actually be able to recall the next day.

Since my video link to the classic SNL bit about how all the good domain names on the internet have already been taken and the only one still available was Clownpenis.fart didn't post :( in the last thread-- I've since thought up a few real ones to add to your think tank--but the one I like best is:

All things Alison

allthingsalison.com

It just seems to work.

Anyway, best of luck on your Stand Up performance--break a leg or whatever you show biz people say--I'll be pulling for you.....literally :)


My Aim Is True,

Scott

Brett Jones said...

RE: your last twitter.

It's opportunity. You see with the economy dragging along opportunity's keeping busy playing ding dong ditch.

Anonymous said...

Quote of the funny debut:

"if you need to smash fruits, I have a whole cart of watermelon in my place. But you're going to have to trade me your Verizon Blackberry as I need to smash devices that use food names such as the CHocolate Phone and Apple Computer. I apologize if that statement wasn't funny, but the real comedic relief lies in the smashing ....."

----Gallagher

Joe said...

Good luck tonight Alison! Definitely have fun. You'll do GREAT!!

Your post started to make me think of some things you should NOT have fun with...

- prostate exams (guys only)
- colonoscopy
- sigmoidoscopy

Actually, you should not have fun with anything ending with "oscopy."

- live in North Korea
- fall down a well
- find poisionous snakes in your bed
- get hemorrhoids
- wake up with a crack whore
- drive off a cliff
- get an injection and have the needle break off under your skin
- be addicted to black tar heroin
(causes venous sclerosis, people!)
- be convicted of tax evasion
- get on a bus filled with Nazis
- sing the Hakuna Matata
- befriend a Jehovahs Witness
- pass GO but don't collect $200
- buy something from Billy Mays
- get a really bad Haiku from your boyfriend or girlfriend
- wake up in a bathtub missing a kidney
- have sex with Barbara Streisand

Ted from Accounting said...

"so I hope you're all up in that shit." - Did you ever consider writing for porn? J/K

Well, if you two crazy women promise to stay with it this time! Didn't I promise not to forsake the tumblr before!?!?! Oops! I'll check it out NOW!