Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Bedside vigil for my internet connection

Imagine if your beloved relative was lying in a hospital bed fading in and out of consciousness and you were trying to desperately squeeze all your questions about your past and family into the precious few lucid moments because when this person dies, there goes all that history and all those memories? Well imagine that instead of a relative, it's your fucking internet connection that's about to give up the ghost and every now and then it seems to actually be working and you're like "wait wait! just give me my email! come back! just tell me the weather forecast! don't go! I need to google mysel.... hello? NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fight, fight! I'm not ready to live without my internet connection!"

And then again it's gone. I can't take this emotional roller coaster.

Thankfully I already talked to the nutsacks at Time Warner though and I explained that I work from home and I'm losing business and they kindly let me know that this is for residential use. Do they think I'm selling rubber stamps online or something?


Joe said...

"the nutsacks at Time Warner"

And I thought Comcast had the market cornered on nutsacks. Time Warner has some too - who'd have thunk it?

I can see why you were upset - I may have posted more career advice for you and you might have missed it.

My email was down for several hours yesterday morning. Some of my settings got changed somehow, and it took me quite a while to find out what the problem was.

After checking online, I found out it's a common problem in Windows Vista, and it's pretty much pissing off people all over the world. No wonder so many countries hate us. Way to go, Bill Gates! How about spending some of your billions fixing your G** damn software.

The next debate is on tonight. Do you plan to pull your skin off again, Alison? Because to be brutally honest - that's not a good look for you. It's even worse than bad naked.

Brett Jones said...

Just tell the tech guy your home based business involves a web cam, very little clothing and certain vegetables and fruit. Then suggest you'd be happy to give him a VIP account if only he'd help you and fix the connection.