Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Apparently I'm not the dinner partying kind

So I was talking to my mom earlier on the phone about apartments and I was saying that one was so small it was more like a dorm room than an apartment and you wouldn't want to have people over and she was asking if you wouldn't be able to have anyone over, not even one person, and I was saying that you could have one person over but you'd never want to have a dinner party.

At that point she kind of scoffed and chortled, she scfortled, as if I am not the dinner party type. I am SO the dinner party type and the fact that she can't see my inner casserole dish and the oil and vinegar cruets behind my eyes—well that kind of hurts. If you stab me with a dinner fork do I not bleed? If you shove little corn poker things onto the ends of ears of corn does it not make them cuter? (it does! and easier to eat! not that I've had corn in a million years, but that's beside the point)

Anyway, just because I haven't entertained in a zillion years and just because I wouldn't know human companionship if it came up and bit me on my agoraphobic tushy does not mean that I don't know how to throw a fun fest for a few fancy friends.

And to prove it, I thought I'd detail the itinerary:

First my guests would arrive and we'd chit chat while assembling my furniture. Then we'd eat pretzels. Then we'd play dress up. Then we'd skip rocks. Then we'd take a nap. Then we'd help me lift heavy things and change any bulbs that are out that I can't reach. Then we'd play sardines. Then I'd sing a song for everyone. Then we'd make a toast. Then we'd have quiet time where you could read or nap or color or play with stickers. Then we'd go miniature golfing or roller skating, I haven't decided. Then we'd probably go out to dinner. Then we'd watch a movie on my home movie theater. Then we'd take funny photos. Then the shuttle would come to take everyone home.

See? I know dinner parties!


Ted from Accounting said...

Hey is this the itinerary for the RosenFan Club get together? I'm just curious because I'm down for all of that!

Don't forget we're playing Hungry Hippos too!

FYI to my fellow bloggers: Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."

Also, I think "tushy" just means her arse!

Joe said...

I enthusiastically submit my RSVP for the Alison Rosen Dinner Party (even though my invitation hasn't arrived yet). And to make sure I'm available, I've cleared my caledar for the rest of the year.

Will we be skipping rocks in the sink or the tub? It's been a while and I want to get some practice time in. I used to roller skate a lot, so I prefer that to miniature golf - although I'm sure I could putt through that stupid windmill if given 3 or 4 tries. And, guys, if we play sardines, I expect some alone time in the closet with the hostess. Get my drift??

I also suggest we play a few rounds of Twister. In fact I hereby challenge Alison to a one-on-one, best-of-five, winner-take-all, no-holds-barred, clothing-optional, steel-cage Twister Championship Of The World. By winner-take-all I mean the winner gets to take home all the leftovers (pretzels). Yum!

Mark Steven said...

Aren't you supposed to actually have dinner in the home at a dinner party? Regarding moving heavy things - is this a solicitaion for help with your eventual move?

Ted from Accounting said...

Good luck on Red Eye tonight AMR!

It looks like another round with Sherrod! He makes for great demo reel material!

Davee Jones said...

Im so there,wow,
you just described MY WHOLE LIFE

Joe said...

Great job on RE last night, Alison! You were the highlight of the show (as you always are).

Did you find an apartment? According to your Twitter you have. That must be a relief.

Gotta get to work. I spent some time this morning wishing Bill a happy b-day on his Activity Pit page. TOO much time. (I was having fun though!)