Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Girls Gone Senile

You know when you're trying really hard to remember something and you know it's in there somewhere but you just can't retrieve it? You do? Well I don't, because I have a perfect memory and excellent skin.

Except apparently I went to high school with Joe Francis! I mean, I remember lifting my shirt up all the time, but I don't remember any cameras. I just remember the principal seeming displeased.

But I saw a high school friend today and we were reminiscing about Spanish class and right there, plopped into the middle of the trip down memory lane was a story about Joe Francis being kinda douchy (okay fine—way more than kinda, I'm just being diplomatic) and getting picked on by the other kids who, admittedly, were nasty little shits, except he kind of brought it on himself so much that you didn't even feel a tad sorry for him. Not a tad!

What's more, apparently he looked just like he does now and went by the same name, which rules out the idea that the reason I can't remember this is because he was a 250 pound kid who had thick glasses and went by JoJo Francesco or something.

Clearly I've been roofied.


Toddrod said...

What makes me sad is that until now, I had always considered you the Joe Francis of the written word. The way you titillate us with your vocabulary. After reading your blog I always feel like I've enjoyed what I've just read, but if my mom caught me, I know she'd be very upset.


Brett Jones said...

I'm wondering if maybe the two of were at the same party at some point, you maybe got a little "Wild" and flashed the crowd giving Joe two thoughts.

1. Wow, Alison is really hot without her top on.

2. I think I'm going to build an empire off the breasts of drunk teenage girls.

Do we have you to blame for Joe Francis, multi millionaire?

Davee Jones said...

Hey do you know whats cool
about Joe Francis
absolutely nothing.
Hey do you know whats cool
about Alison M Rosen
possible everything.

Davee Jones

Grant Friedman said...

What are the odds of one high school producing so many Red Eye guests?

Joe said...

Alison, you know how much I love and admire Joe Francis. Knowing that you have a connection with him just endears you to me even more.

I'm glad you posted this because I'm about to fax my resume to Mr. Francis. May I include you as a personal reference? I'm applying for the following positions within his organization.

1) Cameraman

2) Supplier (supplies underage girls with booze and drugs)

3) Wardrobe Assistant (helps underage girls put on and take off their clothes - mostly take off)

4) Jailhouse Liason (acts as coordinator between the GGW organization and Mr. Francis while he rots in jail)

5) GGW Vice-President (makes odles of money while letting underlings ply young girls with drugs and booze)

My requirements are 4 weeks of paid vacation per year, 401K, full medical and dental, and accidental death and dismemberment coverage.

Ted from Accounting said...

I can't respect anyone makes money that way!