Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Seriously, Esmarelda!

I'm in California, sipping a pina colada on the beach while my assistant fans me with a palm frond. Seriously, Esmarelda, must you fan so vigorously? Your fervent fanning nearly knocked the pineapple wedge out of my drink! Yes, it's speared on tiny little sword most likely found next to a tiny little treasure chest—the purloined bounty of rogue pygmy pirates who met some unforeseen and possibly grizzly fate at the hands of something bigger than they were—judging from the size of their weaponry, and its most curious color (translucent yellow, in this case, but these tiny swords have also been found in red, light blue and white. also green), I'd say these pirates could be overtaken by any sort of fist sized fish. A hearty clam could also pose a threat. Anyway, a lot of history in this garnish, so I beseech you to fan with care.

Okay fine, I'm sitting at my parents' kitchen table. I'm not drinking a pina colada and no one is fanning me. I'm not hot though, so I don't really need to be fanned. I wouldn't mind a light breeze.

6 comments:

Ted from Accounting said...

Obi Wan Kenobi - "Jedi Master Goodlove did you feel that disturbance in the force?"

Jedi Master Goodlove - "Yes, my young padawan"

Obi Wan Kenobi - "What could it mean?"

Jedi Master Goodlove - "Alison Rosen has returned to California bringing balance to the force!"

Obi Wan Kenobi - "Will it last?"

Jedi Master Goodlove - "If we are lucky! She's our final hope"

---

"rogue pygmy pirates" - LOL

Joe said...

Ah yes, we have some of those pygmy pirates along the Barbary Coast of New England. Nasty little guys - they'll stab you in the toe with their little swords at the slightest provocation. And they made the worst kind of popping sound when you step on 'em.

I'm starting to think the Northeast has been invaded by some mutant strain of super mosquito. I was outside last week and got bit on the arm. It swelled up so much it looked like I had a golf ball under my skin. (I'm not joking)

Then I was outside last night for a while and got bit again under the chin. It hasn't swollen up quite as bad, but it still looks like I'm having trouble swallowing a hard boiled egg.

I've had hundreds of mosquito bites and never had this kind of reaction. Forget Global Wwarming -- beware the Teenage Mutant Ninja Mosquitos!

Rbastid said...

Come back to NYC we have a light breeze, as that day after rain smell.

Instead you get the wonderful world of Fires and Mudslides.

Toddrod said...

NorCal says, "Hi RoRo!"

Toddrod

P.S. If you come up to the SF Bay Area sometime this week, let me know. I want an 8x10 black and white glossy autographed picture for my mommy. If you could write something nice on your picture like, "Todd, You are so SEXY!" She would really appreciate it. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Quote of the Esmerelda:

" Is this post making fun of me......."

------Rob Lowe's Maid (She's got a new job which is to fan people she doesn't know.)

Anonymous said...

Your beach story took me back to the various beaches I've been to: Myrtle Beach, a beach in Galveston, Tx. Galveston beach?, and also the beach in Pensacola Fl., I also remember when I use to wear O.P. (Ocean Pacific), and Panama Jack apparel. Good times.

tracks:

Kokomo. - The Beach Boys.

Escape. (the pina coloda song) - Rupert Holmes.

Margaritaville. - Jimmy Buffet.

Michael.
La.

p.s. I chose these songs not for the lyrical content, but for the laid back music. And also for the titles.