Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I feel like I'm in a dream

because there is a thread over on The Activity Pit called "Alison Rosen's hair" and it's not entirely flattering—what's up with the way it poofs out unnaturally—did I overdo it with the hairspray? Is it dry?—and I can't quite explain why this intense follicular scrutiny makes me feel like I'm in a dream but it does. I think because I've joked so much about being obsessed with my hair that to be confronted with the way others are splitting hairs over it (get it? nothing to get here, move along) is strangely gratifying/disturbing.

But see, I feel I shouldn't comment in the thread itself, yet if I don't comment I'll simply die! So here goes:

Yes, I wear a wig and extensions. In fact, under my long black hair is a blond pageboy. Under that is a mousy brown choirboy. My head is like a series of Russian nesting dolls.

The poofing you're noticing is a result of teasing. Before I go on air the hairstylist shouts taunts at my head. "Is that your hair or did your neck throw up?" is my favorite.

Teasing or back-combing is how "anchor hair" is achieved. Not that I sit in the chair and request anchor hair, however I've noticed that I definitely prefer my hair with some poof in it. Otherwise it's too flat, which is just no good on TV. In real life though, it's pretty flat.

I don't dye my hair. It's naturally black. Truthfully. Don't make me rip out a hair and show you the root because I so will. As proof I submit my mom and my sister, both of whom also have black hair.

I do straighten my hair though.

I guess that's really all I have to say at this time.

16 comments:

Rbastid said...

I haven't seen the post over at the activitypit yet but on thursday's, i think it was, wasn't it?, show I thought your hair looked very sexy. Very Jersey girl if you will.

PS. my word verification word is "Weurpmff" looks like something that could be real.

Toddrod said...

I think you already know what I think about your poofy "fat" hair look. In my opinion, the bigger the hair, the more I want to get your secret decoder ring, so that I can decipher those cryptic messages that are hidden in your blogs! I just hope they don't say "eat your ovaltine."

Toddrod

Sweet said...

I heart your hair, as it's much more shiny, black and poofy than mine..then again, I suffer from random patches of alopecia...self-induced of course, so, there's no surprise there :)

Ted from Accounting said...

Your hair is alright...I guess!

and by alright, I mean, "it's freakin beautiful!"

Was that H&C appearance your first "National" live show?

Joe said...

Ted nailed it - "it's freakin beautiful!"

But isn't that how women are? You can have perfect hair and other women will still gossip about it and say it's too dry, too oily, too long, too short, too curly, too straight, too big...

That's why women develop eating disorders.

Men are different. We just take it outside... and grab some baseball bats if necessary. But above all, we NEVER let it affect our appetites.

Toddrod said...

Joe is right. I looked at that discussion, and only a couple of the women are showing any negativity. And it happens to be the women that were rejected by the Fat Follicle Foundation. The FFF has very strict standards, and they are just showing their petty jealousy. Everyone else in that discussion seems to be loving Alison's fat follicles.

Toddrod

Kimberly said...

I love your hair.
Anyone who has seen my profile picture at The Pit knows the extreme lengths I will go to to add some body to my hair. Not to be confused with adding hair to my body. That doesn't interest me.

Kim -
SpinLikeFlynn

Renee said...

Hi, Alison. *Stares down at shoes* I'm that wretched girl who started the thread about your hair. I didn't intend it to sound so mean! Your hair has just always fascinated me with its...wideness. I used to watch "Red Eye" and wonder how far it would measure out on each side if I held a ruler up to it. I guess I'm impressed with how you guys get it to stay that way!

(P.s. I do think you're pretty!)

Don Allen said...

Renee, you're such a backpedaling LIAR! You SO did not say anything even remotely nice about her hair in your PM!

alison said...

Okay I must step in because things are getting heated and that's so not what my big hair is about. It's about love and understanding and getting along. If my hair were to say but one thing it would be: love one another. My hair ladles soup at a nearby soup kitchen. It's why I always smell faintly of homeless people and gumbo. Anyway, carry on please...

Don Allen said...

Being from Louisiana, all I can say after reading that is "Damn, I want some gumbo."

:(

Renee said...

Allen,

PM? Huh? I sent you a private message when? (If this is a joke, I totally apologize for not getting it.)

Toddrod said...

I got the joke, and I wasn't even sent the PM! It's ok Renee, we still luv ya! *swoon*

Toddrod

Renee said...

Hehehe. I'm a little tired right now ;)

Guys, I just want to let you know that Alison's Hair and I were talking on AIM a while ago, and we agreed that we're just three very sexy people with probing minds. It's like, I need answers, man. We also discussed politics and bible prophesy and Madonna's new album and such.

Ted from Accounting said...

Alison Rosen! You are such a trouble maker!

Don Allen said...

It wasn't a joke Renee. Jokes are funny, and that obviously was not. I WAS being facetious, however. :P