Monday, May 05, 2008

At the gym; next few decades

Well here I am at the gym again. After seeing myself on tv this morning I decided to spend the next two to three decades here. It's a little gift I'm giving to humanity. At this rate, when I get out in two to three decades I'll be able to hit on hot fifty year olds. I like 'em young. Seriously though, wow. Wow did I not love how I looked. I feel like I've been able to get away with not looking like everyone else on tv for quite awhile but this morning it hit me that I really need to go blonde. That's what I've been talking about this whole time. What did you think I was talking about? Don't be silly! And I think my favorite moment in our hard hitting political discussion was when I admitted I like bosom buddies.. Um, what else. Well I'm currently exercising in the residue of this morning's heavy spackling (I tried to wash it off but there's only so much you can do yourself. I plan to walk myself through a car wash later and then give myself a flea dip. I might get neutered too, cuz what the hell. Scratch me?) Um, yeah, that was awkward! Jeez, now I feel weird. Right so what I was trying to say is that I'm soon to be sweating in a light film of makeup which means I'll be breaking out soon. Care to date me? I'm getting neutered at eleven, so let me know soon.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry


Don Allen said...

"Care to date me?"

Absolutely! But I'm a thousand miles away and probably not your type. :(

You need to be careful about how often you go to the gym, to be honest. You're there every day and that can strain you more than it helps.

You as a blonde? Well, I'm blond, and it works alright on me, but I don't know if I can see it working well for you. I suppose anything can be gotten-used-to, it'd just take time. verification code is "luvsnme" isn't that sweet sounding? *gag*

Mr. Ricardo said...

I'll date ya', but not until after you walk through the car wash and get yourself flea dipped. Hey, a man has to have standards. Neutering is optional.

Ted from Accounting said...

I thought you would never ask! I'm giddy all of the sudden. It will have to be an eDate but I'll pick you up at 9:00 PM! I have so much to do until up my typing skills, have a series of questions and topics for the conversation...Oh, dating in the modern age!

I"m the king of the world!


Ok, I say let there be light because you looked amazing on F&F. The chemistry between you and the hosts was great! Momma always told me not to say mean things about people so, I won't discuss Andrew.

God, I hope they have you on regularly! I'm going to send my email to the show as well! Great idea #2.

Joe said...

You're welcome, #1!

Toddrod said...

It must be extremely difficult for any woman to look at themselves on tv. The most difficult thing I am guessing is that what is normal and nice about you, you probably hate. It doesn't help if you are comparing yourself to another women sitting next to you on the screen, because she probably doesn't have what you have. Yet, you can't help think to yourself, "she doesn't have THAT, so something is wrong with me!" The truth is you are the hot one, and the other woman is probably thinking the same insecurities about herself after sitting next to you.

I'm just thinking to myself, "at least she didn't leave any of her panties behind on the couch, or else she'd really be upset."


Rbastid said...

A) No you shouldn't go blonde, Dark hair works very nicely for you.

B) You owe Viacom a new computer, I kinda spit a little Vitamin water into it when i read this and laughed.