Wednesday, May 14, 2008

At the gym; friends and otters

Well it finally happened. I made some gym buddies. Well, not really buddies yet, but I shared a moment with Thelma and Sam. Note: I don't actually know their names but they seem like a Thelma and Sam. Anyway, I was laying or lying on some ab crunch machine thing and I heard Sam say that working out is painful. Then Thelma, stretching on the floor, said it was boring! They were talking amongst themselves and I got up and as I was walking away I said 'I think it's boring AND painful!' They both laughed and nodded and invited me to go yachting with them.. I had to decline as I get seasick and I already have plans to go heliboarding this afternoon.

The thing is that I don't really find it painful and boring. I may change my mind tomorrow when those damn tens get me, but still, I like to meet people on their level. Don't worry about it, I'll come to where you are, I often say to people who are stuck in trees or drowning. I like to think they appreciate my willingness to be accomodating. Occasionally I tire of always being so selfless and altruistic and giving and generous and kindhearted and when I do, it's best to avoid me because I engage in petty theft and dabble in grand larceny, but I think it's justified because my daughter needs the medicine and that's why I had to also turn to prostitution and black out one of my teeth and begin speaking as well as singing in a French accent. Who am I? Shall I condemn myself to slavery? This is my opera house! Don't look at me! Turn your face away! Acunamatada! Means no worries? My knowledge of the Disney songbook is strikingly lacking although I enjoy myriad songs from The Rescuers and also Lady and the Tramp. Dumbo, too, but that shit makes me cry.

For my birthday I received the collector's dvd of emmett otter's jugband christmas, quit laughing at me, and it was excellent. I'd forgotten how good the songs were. And there was a bloopers reel which was hilarious and a whole behind the scenes documentary. I recommend it highly to myself. (Despite the fact that I'm kind of paid to be a critic, I don't feel comfortable imposing my otterphilia on you. Not yet at least.)

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry


Rbastid said...

See you do to much at the gym, so you don't get to meet friends. Try just joining at sitting at the juice bar, or stay there and sing in the showers. I made a friend the latter way, Officer Kerry I believe was his name.

Joe said...

Alison, I saw this news article and it reminded me of one of your posts about a long cross-country flight. Fortunately, your trip wasn't as bad as this guy's.

Sounds like he has a good case for a lawsuit. I'm sure it's a Federal requirement that all passengers must have access to seat belts during the flight. JetBlue too - I'm surprised.

Re: Lady and the Tramp. A friend I used to work with had a favorite verse from Fox and the Hound. I wanted to post it, but for the life of me I can't remember it now.

Anonymous said...


%) The Way I Am. - Eminem.


Toddrod said...

This is the first post in a long time that actually frightened me. If Alison makes friends, she may neglect her blog! Heaven forbid!


Lord Melchior said...

It is often embarrassing as well as boring and painful. Mainly anything involving those big green balls, or going into a room and dancing, doing tae bo or whatever, while the people on the bikes stare at you and laugh.

Sweet said...

I've made most of my friends, and enemies, at the gym...mostly out of gym towels...clean, not used, what kind of a person do you think I am???

ps...please don't answer the above question :)