Wednesday, April 30, 2008

what we talk about when we talk about salmon

Here's what I'm wondering: You know on food labels where they list all the ingredients and occasionally there will be some info in parenthesis about what one ingredient does? How is it determined which ingredients they gloss, if you will? Because, for example, on the back of this box of Gorton's Grilled Salmon fillets I've come to learn that Sodium Tripolyphosphate is added "to retain fish moisture" (mmm... fish lube!) and Sodium Laurel Sulfate is added for lather, but it's not like I know why Disodium Inosinate or Disodium Guanylate are in there. But Propyl Gallate is added to protect flavor. Probably from flavonoids!

Propyl Gallate is a good name for something which protects something. It's very gallant. It's like the "Lance" of the food label world.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go barf from thinking about the phrase fish lube.

Ginny, if you are reading this, I'm sure that:

a) it freaks you out that I just mentioned your name, and
b) fish lube isn't as disgusting a phrase as fish moisture

5 comments:

Sweet said...

I'm having disturbing images of Fishy Lube being sort of like Jiffy Lube, only so much more wrong :)

Anonymous said...

Quote of the Salmon Post:

"Who wears yellow Raincoats these days huh ?......"

----Gorton

Joe said...

At first I thought this was going to be an entry about Salman Rushdie, author of The Santanic Verses and well know Sodium Laurel Sulfate eater. Wikipedia says Rushdie is a novelist and essayist in the genre of Magic Realism. Magic Realism? I'm quite sure Wikipedia made that up - there's no such thing.

I don't read the ingredients of the things I eat. First of all, I can't pronounce most of the words and second, it would scare me. I trust the FDA is doing their job and protecting me from harmful preservatives and other nasty additives. I know - I'm pretty naive.

I thought Red Eye was great last night. Greg Proops was excellent as always. He has such a quick wit. Liz Claman was good too, although I don't think Greg (Gutfeld) went to her often enough. I hope she's invited back soon. Honestly - Liz can park her shoes under my bed any time.

I obviously skipped over the Joe ("Freaky") Francis segment. Is there a "Send Joe Francis Back to Jail" fund set up anywhere? I'd like to make a contribution.

Lord Melchior said...

Fish need fish lube...you think astroglide works under water? I think not. Salmon need to get their freak on or I won't be able to get my Philly Maki fix.

Ted from Accounting said...

I know it is like 12:33 am but I'm actually eating a big ass bowl of Tuna fish right now! Not that anyone cares but fish is sooooooo good for you! Look at how long the Japanese live from eating this shit!

I forgot to mention that your gym post yesterday inspired me. I read it just before going on a jog. I really wasn't motivated and about the 1.8 mi. mark, I was going to give up and then thought...hmmmm Alison wouldn't give up! Thanks for the inspiration Miss Rosen!