Friday, April 25, 2008

At the gym

so I'm at the gym, working on my quads, glutes, triads, dingos and bananas. You aren't familiar with dingos and bananas? They're very important groups of muscles located under other muscles and you only begin to define them once you're really far along in the world of body sculpting. For example, I didn't even think I had dingos. I thought I was born without them (which, I know now, sounds totally silly!), but little by little I chipped away at first my triangles and then my tampolines and then there they were, right under the mangos! Also, I'd like to say that I sat down on this bike and went to put on my seatbelt! What's more, there wasn't a seatbelt! I'm doing, um, let's see, seventy rpms and they expect me to just hang on? I smell lawsuit! Also, the girl on the treadmill across the way bears an uncanny resemblance to the wife of the last guy I slept with, which is distracting. (I'm sorry, my humor has taken a turn for the darkly perverse today. I don't know why, just bear with me. I blame the bananas which are likely secreting bananatine which regulates tropical functioning but can cause dark jokes if it isn't balanced out by, um, ovaltine.) If you're about to say you aren't familiar w... In the misdt of this I just got a call to do red eye tonight, so that's where you'll find me. Good thing I worked out my bananas!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

2 comments:

Ted from Accounting said...

Well, whether it's dark humor or you actually off your incompetent assistants, there is always the secreting banana defense!

Anonymous said...

I have mangos too!! We have so much in common, Alison!

Toddrod