Tuesday, March 25, 2008


I played guitar three weeks ago, which was surprisingly painful, though fun, since the calluses that I once had were long gone and instead my fingers were like ten little baby asses, and my wrist like some kind of weak little unborn bird—like the consistency of the beak of an unhatched chicken—anyway, have I made you barf yet? I can keep going.

So what's weird is that my fingertips are just now—three weeks later–starting to peel, which is phase one of the calluses. Well actually, it's phase two. Phase one is pain. It's like I applied Rogaine to my fingertips, which I didn't, and the tissue is sloughing slowly.

If anyone would like a piece of fingertip skin, please write an essay detailing why and put it in a bottle and throw it in the ocean. I'm curious to see whether that form of communication works.


Brett Jones said...

Slow, but effective.


todd said...

ah yes, as a fellow guitar player I know all about ye calluses. Even though I play regulary in a band, I have been playing my acoustic a ton this week, building a thicker level of skin and higher tolerance of pain. What's a guitar player to do? I just saw Bon Jovi last week and I'm refreshed in my quest to be a rock star.

Anonymous said...

Quote of the BLIND POLITICS:

" Can I have a piece of your fingertip because perhaps it could improve my eye sight.I PROMISE I WONT TELL THE WORLD."

---GOV. Patterson

Pow said...

I'm glad I read that twice. The part about Rogaine,..I missed that whole not really using it part the first time. I was going to say "I never knew Rogaine helped calluses." I work with my hands. So it's part of the job. And I'm thinking why did nobody ever tell me this before? Glad I didn't look stupid. Also, very glad you're on to phase two.

This also reminded me of comedian Charlie Callus (sp?). Whatever happened to him?

Ted from Accounting said...

I sent my 5 page essay in MLA format in a Dos Equis (Green Label) bottle on Tuesday. Judging by the weather and current conditions, it will either end up going to you or an Alaska King Crab fisherman. Hopefully there is no Alison Rosen on the crab boat!

I don't have these callus issues you speak of when using my Gibson - (Guitar Hero 3) model. Sometimes you just have to use quality instruments Alison!