I played guitar three weeks ago, which was surprisingly painful, though fun, since the calluses that I once had were long gone and instead my fingers were like ten little baby asses, and my wrist like some kind of weak little unborn bird—like the consistency of the beak of an unhatched chicken—anyway, have I made you barf yet? I can keep going.
So what's weird is that my fingertips are just now—three weeks later–starting to peel, which is phase one of the calluses. Well actually, it's phase two. Phase one is pain. It's like I applied Rogaine to my fingertips, which I didn't, and the tissue is sloughing slowly.
If anyone would like a piece of fingertip skin, please write an essay detailing why and put it in a bottle and throw it in the ocean. I'm curious to see whether that form of communication works.
Need to book me on your show or tell me how great I am?
alisonmrosen [at] gmail [dot] com
For professional inquiries please CC:
dpsasst@wma.com
For professional inquiries please CC:
dpsasst@wma.com
About Me
- alison
- I am a vivacious person with effervescent thoughts and bubbly feelings, which I used to save for my diary and therapist before realizing I could share them with a million strangers, unless of course we've met before in which case remember that time we were at that place and then I did that thing? Sorry about that... Also I'm a writer, pop culture analyst/expert and regular TV guest. Care to be impressed by my credentials? Well then, from 2005—2008 I did Best Bets with Alison Rosen, a segment on WNBC's Weekend Today in New York show. I've appeared on Montel, Chelsea Lately, Hannity & Colmes, Fox & Friends and a bunch more and I'm a regular commentator on Fox News Channel's Red Eye. I wrote for the Los Angeles Times when I was 18. I'm a former Time Out New York editor. I'm a contributing editor for Page Six Magazine. I've written for a zillion publications including Rolling Stone, Maxim, Spin, People, Village Voice, New York Press, Nerve, Seventeen, Vibe, Seattle Weekly, Minneapolis City Pages, OC Weekly and Page Six Magazine. I used to play guitar in a punk band. I have naturally black hair. I won NY's Funniest Reporter competition.
Go here for so many photos you will be like, Wow, she's just that into herself. OR, click the above image to be taken to a page with every photo ever uploaded to this blog.
5 comments:
Slow, but effective.
http://seattlest.com/2008/03/24/message_in_a_bo.php
ah yes, as a fellow guitar player I know all about ye calluses. Even though I play regulary in a band, I have been playing my acoustic a ton this week, building a thicker level of skin and higher tolerance of pain. What's a guitar player to do? I just saw Bon Jovi last week and I'm refreshed in my quest to be a rock star.
Quote of the BLIND POLITICS:
" Can I have a piece of your fingertip because perhaps it could improve my eye sight.I PROMISE I WONT TELL THE WORLD."
---GOV. Patterson
I'm glad I read that twice. The part about Rogaine,..I missed that whole not really using it part the first time. I was going to say "I never knew Rogaine helped calluses." I work with my hands. So it's part of the job. And I'm thinking why did nobody ever tell me this before? Glad I didn't look stupid. Also, very glad you're on to phase two.
This also reminded me of comedian Charlie Callus (sp?). Whatever happened to him?
I sent my 5 page essay in MLA format in a Dos Equis (Green Label) bottle on Tuesday. Judging by the weather and current conditions, it will either end up going to you or an Alaska King Crab fisherman. Hopefully there is no Alison Rosen on the crab boat!
I don't have these callus issues you speak of when using my Gibson - (Guitar Hero 3) model. Sometimes you just have to use quality instruments Alison!
Post a Comment