Wednesday, November 14, 2007

This just in: I'LL BE ON RED EYE TONIGHT

You should watch!

UPDATE: and for what it's worth, I'm not so sure it's a federal issue.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Count me in.

Michael.
La.

Ted the wingman said...

Go Ali Go Ali...Awesome,I look forward to it!

Here is another version of the Allison Rosen Show:

Hi I’m Allison Rosen, body language expert and part-time celebrity pet groomer. Welcome to Redeye, its like the movie “dirty dancing” only we don’t wear clothes…it’s true! The graphics department adds these later.

To my first guest, Fox News Correspondent Rebecca Gomez, if sexiness was a nicotine patch, I’d crave her until she was stuck against my body.

In the middle is my grotesque side-kick Bill…I realize he resembles Cha-ka from the Land of the Lost but stop writing in for autographs….it’s NOT HIM!

Sitting closest to me is our esteemed guest Greg Gutfeld, if beauty was a Sasquatch, I’d film him in the woods doing unnatural things.

That’s it for this episode…remember People, I’m Allison Rosen and your not…and that has made all the difference!

Konrad said...

Splendid. I'll be sure to watch tonight.

Gospel John said...

I'm watching you right now...

Is that too weird?

I love your appearances on Red Eye - you should be made a regular.

If quick wit and hilarity were a chimney, I'd put my wood in her.

Anonymous said...

Season's Comings:(ToAlison)


What you need for winter
Is not a new HP printer
Nor a new jet scooter for
It will run like your
Old Dell computer.

Your Saint Old Nick so Jolly
Will greet your Christmas Holly
With a treat and gift that'll
Rouse your spirited holiday kicks
Whilst bestowed in your house
Be a nice white blouse, dazzles
Its bright basil designs giving
Time to sight its bright
Benign delight.

Besides the lighted dress
You'll not remiss so surely, Nevertheless but
Obsess it purely.

Before I head west
I shall address the other bequest
You'll Get before the time comes to a dead sudden rest.

Its a toy that hoist the inner
Boy, brings back rejoice to the Bored man with his Yore
Childhood joys.

Prepared to embark to cease your
Homeliness lamented stark and
Return with remark the appease for your
Comeliness contented heart.

This treasure in any such period You can’t measure
For all its myriad pleasures you Will soon remember.

To tells its truth I have sleuth to dare say..
Be aware of its defiance like a Big brute giant yet
Hears the request to abet its
Helpess clients.

But never fear when he appears..

For he is as reliant to his many friends as he is defiant to your enemy fiends.

Covered in red like
Santa's hover- sled.

Deployed as a large truck so as to
Avoid its abundant foes,
Employs his charge-up gun when
Annoyed by his redundant woes.

When you see him you must not
Hide
But pace the stride and face your ally
Optimus Prime.

The Month after this we duck the Perils
And hum the preludes to our carols.

So let us now embrace our hands for the Reason
That so soon will be haste the Grace of the season.


Michael, Loisiana -(...Merry Christams and a Happy New Year)

Mark said...

Jeez, how can I possibly top those comments?

Anonymous said...

For the record, and I'm sure it's obvious, I didn't write the lenghty post. I'm flattered that you would want to imitate me.

Michael.
Louisiana, and I approve this message.

Anonymous said...

On a lighter note. You were lovely and charming as always last night on the show. I would say more, but I stayed up late last night and I'm cranky. Off to continue my beauty sleep.

Michael.
Louisiana. and I approve this message.

Anonymous said...

Is this thing on?

Anonymous said...

I pride myself on my humor not to point out or criticize individuals for their shortcomings and things of the like. To me that is too easy and doesn't take much creative thinking in doing that. Anyway, now that I've laid that groundwork, I'll move on. Last night, I was on a fantastic natural high, until Christina continued to talk. She was just a little too serious about things. I was like, man, what a buzz kill. My natural high was shot, and then I drifted off to depressing repressed memories. Of course I got out of that as things moved on. Alison, thank you for getting my natural high back. It's a rarity to have one, and I cherish them. Wow, when I reread this, I think I just killed my buzz again. I must go have another Dr. Pepper.

Michael.
Louisiana. and I approve this message, just barely though, cause it kinda sux.

Ted's Post Game Wrap Up said...

Hi Allison,

I just watched the Tivo and saw last night's episode (I'm a little late). I agree with Michael about the judge. I'm glad you taught her a little Juris Prudence though. It even seemed like Mercedes tried to go after you on something if I recall. Neither could match your wit. Nice job in getting some Facts of Life trivia in there (few can pull that off).

In retrospect, the language translator wasn't worthy of you comments section... :)

My Post Game Wrap: You get an A+, Mercedes a B- and the judge a D-

Anonymous said...

Thank you Ted for reinforcing what I said. I tend to read too much into things.

Michael.
Louisiana. and I approve this message.

The previous responses and the views and the opinions expressed by me, are not necessarily the same views and opininons expressed by Alison Rosen Inc. Do not try any of this at home.
And also, Kids, please don't do drugs.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the Judge was a bit of a downer I also think. Not to pile on or anything.

Oh and Alison you were right. It's a federal issue.

B.G.

Anonymous said...

Qoute:

"If it's not Michael who did it, then I wonder who wrote that lovely holiday poem.I just wonder..."


ANONYMOUS NAME

Anonymous said...

I was out running a few tedious errands this morning. While driving I was thinking about some minor problems I have going on. Of course in my mind they are/were legitimate issues. Anyway,I was driving along, and on the shoulder of the road I noticed this gentleman in one of those electronic chairs. There was a store up ahead and I assumed that was his destination. He also was without both of his legs. All of the sudden my troubles immediately disappeared. At the point I felt silly for it. That changed my whole perspective on things. It was a sobering event for me. So just a reminder, when you have a little turmoil going on in your life, just open your eyes. There are others who have it way worse. Now I'm gonna go watch Dallas and enjoy my day.

"The very humbled,Michael."
Louisiana.

Anonymous said...

Ah, another thrilling episode of the O.C. It got me to thinking. These kids and the one's from Dawson's Creek had very perplexed lives. Maybe it's cause I live in one of the poorest states in the country,but when I was in school we didn't have any conversations nor events of their magnitude. The only thing we talked or worried about was having to find ways to cure our acne. We talked about our school's sports team and how they were doing. Who wore the best clothes. And for the guys specifically, we talked about what girl was putting out. Who had the best rims on their cars, and who had the loudest music systems. Because this of course was how we showed who had the biggest penis. The louder the bass, and how far you could squeal your tires determined who was well endowed. Not to mention we had to worry about if we were gonna have enough money to take our girlfriend to Taco Bell that weekend. School politics, it is a bitch.

Michael. "he that marches to the beat of his own drum."

Louisiana. And I approve this message.

Anonymous said...

I've done this before and I'm gonna do it again. Before doing so, this is not directed to anyone on this site because I like and respect everyone here. Anyway,it's pet peeve time. *ahem*. I venture to other places on the net and I see a commom theme among the male chatters,and bloggers. Somehow in their minds they think that being overly nice, agreeable with what everybody says somehow wins them favor with others. This type of behaviour is troubling to me. These type of people I don't trust. I can see if you are just leaving a comment in passing. I'm referring to people who call themselves *regulars* at whatever site they may be in. In my opinion if you spend a great deal of time with the other regulars, then you should feel comfortable in showing other sides of your personality. People who are one-dimentional bore me. And a little bit of adivce guys, women aren't that stupid, and they're not buying it. I'm more comfortable with people who keep it real. I don't say things just for the sake of saying something. So stop the overly-nice routine, No one's buying it.

Michael. "The educated person in human behaviour."

Louisiana. And I approve this message.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by me are not necessarily the same opinion and views of Alison M. Rosen Inc.

Kids, Please don't do drugs.

Just keepin' it real yo'. That's how I roll.