Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Drawers; Drew Toal

So I'm back in NY and I haven't unpacked yet but there's something I need to say before I do that and also I'll probably need to sit around for awhile and possibly I'll never unpack. I just don't like unpacking. I don't really like packing either. I've got a problem with things. I never quite know what to do with them and I have trouble getting rid of them. Over the vacation I was hanging out with the friend I dubbed Phil in the last post, although I could totally tell you it was the friend I dubbed Collins because seriously, how would you know? He had this bank of very small drawers with tiny things inside them. Tiny Tabasco bottles and those runts candies and teacup poodles and thimbles. Actually they were thimble poodles. They're so cute but I can't help but feel sorry for them.

Actually, none of those things were in the drawers. I don't really know what was in the drawers, probably nails of various sizes and washers and thumb tacks and twist ties and earring backings and paper clips and Q-tips and cotton balls and perfume samples and ribbons and very small scarves and packets of Splenda.

Oh! Speaking of, my landlords who are the best landlords ever got me a Facts of Life DVD and a book of recipes featuring Splenda for my bday! Aren't those the best gifts ever? They are!

So back to the small drawers. I looked at this bank of drawers and felt so calm and relaxed looking at it. It was like a waterfall screen saver or nature sounds. It was the organizational equivalent of a rainstick, except rainsticks are cheesy and make me think of didgeridoos, which are noisy.

I was so profoundly affected by the small drawers that I thought to myself, "Self, take note of this and do the equivalent in your New York apartment."

As I write this I'm sitting inside a small drawer and to my left is my sleeping drawer and to my right is my showering drawer. The only thing is that it's kind of difficult to use the bathroom in the middle of the night because it's hard to open the drawers from the inside and once you manage to get the thing open you have to throw yourself over the edge and then cling to the whole bank of drawers and then, because they all look the same from the outside it's easy to forget which is which. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

Wait, none of that was what I meant to say. Damn!

What I meant to say was that there's this young whippersnapper with whom I worked at Time Out New York by the name of Drew Toal who has informed me that he wants to challenge my media empire. "It's lonely in the upper quadrant of the lower middle," I warned him, but there was no getting through to him. He has a blog and I'm remiss in not linking to it so go there and get to know him.


Ted from Accounting said...

Drew Toal!?!?!? Was that a character in the Lord of the Rings? But I'm just getting used to messing with Goot!

I can just picture Alison pinching me by the ear...."Now Ted....TED! You will be social and play nice with my friends on their blogs!"

Yes Miss Rosen!

Toddrod said...

HA! Ted is so silly with his mock jealousy! We all know Ted loves Alison, and that would make a super cool movie if they ever met and fell in love. I picture Seth Rogan playing Ted, and Anna Faris with jet black hair as Alison (somebody fire that casting director!). I also think that Anna David could make a cameo, perhaps catching Seth and Anna in some compromising position.

In regards to unpacking, I just don't see what the big deal is. When I get home from a trip, I open up my bag and shake everything out. Everything that's clothing goes into the laundry (clean or dirty). Everything else stays on the bed till I'm ready to sleep. Then I toss it all on the chair. It's pretty easy.


Joe said...

I think Ted needs a time out. Come to think of it, so do I.

I prefer big drawers to little drawers. Little drawers can be uncomfortable, and they chafe my delicate skin.

I have a feeling we won't be seeing many blog entries here over the next few days. Our leader will be sequestered away viewing her Facts of Life DVD. But I totally understand because I did the same when I got my Lancelot Link Secret Chimp DVD a couple of years ago.

Good luck with your gig tonight, Miss R. I'll be there in spirit cheering you on!

Robert said...

I have often felt my life poorer due to a dearth of drawers. Where do you find these drawers? Ikea?

Ted from Accounting said...

Todd, you are the man! How'd you know that Anna Faris is a goddess in my eyes...can't wait to watch this one on the big screen!

Title of the flick "Bunion Lover"

Good luck on your gig Ro Ro!

Excuse me while I serve the rest of my time out!

anthony0358 said...

I have now decided that if I have to move I will never unpack again

Christian said...

Here in the South "Drawers" means underwear, so you can imagine my confusion when talked about all the things in those drawers. Seems crowded and very pokey in the personal space.

Todd and I are simpatico when it comes to packing. I know in the past you have twittered and blogged about your inability to unpack, but realy it is easy. Follow Todd's instructions, and booom! your done.

I think we have all grown today.

Toddrod said...

I am eagerly awaiting Alison's next blog about her stand up gig. I hope it went well, and she was a hit. Isn't this her first stand up comedy thingy since she won the funniest reporter in the world thingy? What is up with me using the word "thingy?"


Ted from Accounting said...

How'd it go last night Ro Ro!?!?! The old Alison would have let us know already....bring her back!

Hope it went great!