Friday, April 10, 2009

Speaking of dogs, dawgs

While rifling through my nightstand drawer just now I smelled something which suddenly reminded me of the way Woofie, my first dog, used to smell. It's sort of disturbing that a Woofie odor wafted out of my nightstand but it made me happy nonetheless.

In other news I'm home from doing Red Eye and I'm good but kind of strangely banged up feeling due to aforementioned armpit trauma plus a headache plus I cut my head on a spoon (it's a long story, one I talked about on Red Eye. Ok fine it's a short ridiculous story) and also I ate some eggplant and apparently I'm allergic to eggplant or something else in the dish because the inside of my mouth sat up and said howdy if by that you mean got all inflamed. So yeah, I've been better. On the upside, I've taken the makeup off which is always a pain in the heinie. Heiney? Hiney?

Also I have this cheap digital watch here on my desk that I was using to time my stand up set and somehow in the course of figuring out how to use the stopwatch feature I've set the alarm and I can't figure out how to turn it off. I'm thinking I might take a hammer to it. Or put it in the freezer. Or just yell at it.


Anonymous said...

"Not so funny DOGGY JOKE:

How many dogs does it take to......

These are the answers from dogs when asked How many dogs does it take to put in a light bulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!

Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!

Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .

Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (as is the overall joke. Don't give me credit for the boredom. "

Joe said...

Fantastic job on Red Eye last night, Alison! You and Anna looked great and were so funny!

Many good moments. At the beginning of Male Time, Greg said, "Here come the packages" and they briefly cut to you. Bill didn't miss a beat - he said, "That's some package!"

Those unscripted moments are the funniest.

Thanks for a fun show!

Toddrod said...

Yep Joe! That moment really cracked me up. Also, Alison looked different! I'm not sure if it was her make up, or her hair, or what, but she looked even more fantabulistic than she normally does. She looked really young, like she was still in her early 20s. Anna David's new hair style was great too, and she also had some good comebacks and lines! I'm looking forward to when they are both famous and on their own sitcom.


Trapp said...

It was a fine night on Red Eye. I happened to see Beck's show earlier, so I enjoyed Schulz being doused in jet fuel for a second time. Beck had verified that it was in fact, jet fuel, and not simple gasoline.

One would think that the toxic chemicals would have made him violently ill even without being set on fire, but no. Not Schulz. And he even cleaned himself up in time for Red Eye. Amazing.

Likewise, Alison and Anna should themselves have become terribly ill by virtue of their proximity to him, (and not just because of the jet fuel,) mere hours later.

But Alison just troopered on in the breast spotlight chair next to the talking newspaper, while in the confrontation chair, Anna was outed as the sole cause of all our Nation's strife.

Frankly, I thought an apology was in order, but I was just so relieved to know that it was her, and not me, that I couldn't be too angry about it.

I hope that they have Alison and Anna on together again.

WFG said...

On your watch, try pressing the two buttons which aren't your mode and light keys at the same time. Make sure you're in clock mode. You may hear a beep and, or, see a little icon, such as that of a bell, appear (if the alarm's sound is already turned off) or disappear. If your press those buttons individually, you'll probably see that one displays your current alarm settings and the other, the current date.

alison said...

wait, I think it worked! I'll report back tomorrow.

WFG said...

Alright. Just be sure you didn't do it more than once if it was on. Don't want to mistakenly have turned it back on.

Ted from Accounting said...

I watched this episode! I really did! It was great....I then went into 4 days of binge drinking and forgot to post! You were great...very talkative and you & Anna are great together! I bet Greg was in heaven with you two there!