Monday, November 10, 2008

A joke about furniture

Note: sometimes I come up with terrible jokes, the kind that make you groan. It's getting worse as I get older, though my allergy to cats is getting better as I get older. I don't know what to make of this. Eventually my sense of humor will deteriorate to the point where the only kinds of jokes I can make are truly embarrassing and at that point I'll know it's time to have kids.

Anyway, to the joke, and I use the word "joke" loosely:

Woman: It's an occasional table.

Man: Well, what else is it? (maybe this should be: What's it when it's not a table?)

Or maybe it should be "What's an occasional table when it's not a table?"
But then I don't know what the answer is.


Brett Jones said...

A diminished sense of humor is a symptom of and not a prerequisite to parenthood. If you get the point of:

knock knock
who's there

It's time to quickly find a suitable male to breed with and start multiplying.

I like the original answer. It allows the reader to feel superior to others when they get it right away.

I might enjoy a stand up act that was really dry smart humor, where the comedian then explained the punchline after every joke.

Scott said...

Hey Alison,

Speaking of furniture, when are you going to post a pic of your new Couch for all those who followed your long journey into it's allocation so closely?

Many of us feel really invested in the process and would like to see what you finally chose...or were you just planning to show us when you have us over for Thanksgiving?

alison said...

Your timing is uncanny as the couch is being delivered tomorrow! This is my last night as a couch-less hobo! (I'm not really a hobo, I just felt like using an unexpected noun and I totally bet you didn't expect that.)

Joe said...

A dejected furniture salesman is sitting at a bar. He starts up a conversation with the woman sitting next to him.

"If I don't move some furniture this month, I'm going to lose my ass."

The woman looks at him and says, "That's OK. I'm a hooker. If I don't move some ass this month, I'm going to lose my furniture!"

Anonymous said...

Answer to 'occasional table' question: What is a hot flash when you're not postmenopausal? (Or even female?)

Anonymous said...

ANswer to your Table question:

" Since an occasional table is occasional, it is definitely not a periodic table....."

---The newly revealed joke discovered in Einsteins secret documents which probably took his life....

Joe said...

Ha! Periodic table. Very good!

Dang - I wish I'd thought of that one.

Joe said...

I remembered this one this morning...

A man walks into a bar and gets a drink. After a few minutes he hears a voice that says, "Hey, nice tie!" The man looks around and doesn't see anyone near him.

A couple of minutes later he hears the same voice say, "That's a really nice shirt!" Again he looks around but doesn't see anyone.

A few minutes later he hears, "That's a great suit!" Puzzled, the man calls the bartender over and asks if he's talking to him.

"Nope, not me," says the bartender. "It's probably the complimentary peanuts."

Lauren Ashley said...

Maybe something more along the lines of, "What's the occasion?" or perhaps something as simple as "And when it's not...?"

And how big is your frikkin' wallet that it broke your toe?? :P