Thursday, August 07, 2008

I'm now on twitter

I started a Twitter account because I feel like the world needs more ways to feel pseudo connected to me. Also, is it raining? Because the air conditioner in this living room sounds like a vacuum sucking up pennies. Maybe it's raining pennies? And cats and dogs? That would be both dangerous and damaging to even the most hearty umbrella.

But back to twitter. It's I know my parents are going to read this and have a zillion questions about twitter so I'm going to answer them:

Yes. Don't know. Just because. Kind of. Yeah. On your phone. But also on the web. Doesn't matter. I don't know. No difference really. Yeah.

Also, I spilled mustard on my shirt and also discovered that if you mix splenda into mustard you can make low calorie honey mustard if you're into that. I just like it plain, on my shirt. Oh and guess what asshole is taking the jitney? Not this asshole! I'm taking the Hamptons Luxury Liner. It's not even a boat, can you believe it?!?! I'm going to wear a life preserver just in case though.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry


Rbastid said...

Now you can let us know where you are if god forbid you fall down a hole or get locked in a light house, or lost in a hedge maze.

Too bad we can't leave snarky comments on twitter, which would be useless since my phone is somewhere around 3-4 years old.

Brett Jones said...

Really, it would be much easier for all of us to feel "pseudo connected" to you if you just gave us all your AIM S/N or your phone number.

I tell ya what, give us your address and I'll pick up some Thai take out, head over to your place and we can catch up. I'd love to hear how the apartment search is going and just chat about stuff.

Ted from Accounting said...

Crush Rosen on Twitter? I'm a bit slow so I don't quite get the Twitter thing...

Do we join it as well or do we just go there and see your updates?

As an unemployed actor, my Twitter would look like this:

I woke up about 1 hour ago
I ate breakfast 10 min ago
blog commenting 1 hour ago
Drinking Dr. Pepper 5 min ago
No call from my agent today
Crawling in bed for 10 hours Now

Damn I'm boring!

Anonymous said...

Quote of the twitter account:

" 1. No CULTURal references tODAY.

----Lame (Rookie) Twitter User

Joe said...

Twitter is like a do-it-yourself Big Brother, but without the government actually bugging your phone or following you around 24/7.

And you probably wouldn't post controversial things like going to an American Nazi Party Rally. The American Nazi Party is controversial, isn't it? I don't know why - all the people I meet there seem friendly. Goose-stepping taks a lot of practice though, and I've burned all my books and have nothing left to read.

Don Allen said...

Follow me.

betch said...

Splendid! More Alison-goodness is much appreciated. Bookmarked! I'm sure it'll be a fun read.

Check out Internet Jesus (

Man cook meat with fire. Organic ribeye steak, grilled to within an inch of its blackened little life, with cherry tomatoes and fresh bread.
9:37p July 07, 2008

No. MAN COOK MEAT WITH FIRE. Not "man show fire to meat and then eat it while it still squirts and pulses." KILL IT DED WITH FIRE YUS.

An animal is not a person until it buys me a fucking drink. Hippie.

"medium rare" = "good vet could get it up on its feet in an hour or two." That's not cooked with fire. That's THREATENED with fire.

I do not season steak. Start seasoning steak and before you know it? You're French.
1:04a July 8, 2008

No. I go to my personal butcher and say, "give me a piece of meat that's been sawn off an animal." And they throw me a chunk of animal.

And then I say "show me the animal this meat was sawn off." And they show me a picture of a crying cow with a gaping hole in its side.

And I say "did the animal cry when you sawed my piece of meat off it?

And they show me a ziploc bag full of cow tears. And I say, "Rub THAT on my steak! Let THAT be my seasoning!"

I really, really shouldn't have finished that bottle of whisky.