Just today I was thinking how I kind of hate when you say "so..." and the other person says "buttons!" because it's a conversation killer. You're never like "yes, exactly. buttons!" Except now I am actually talking about buttons. Sew... anyway, the button is now on my coat. It looks like a bundle of thread threw up on my jacket and someone stuck a button on top. It's quite fetching, in a barf pile of thread kind of way.
I have a very vague memory of watching an ex-boyfriend sew a button some newfangled way and he said he'd learned in the military—he used a rifle to thread the needle and played taps before throwing out the extra thread. So that's the way I did mine.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
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Quote from the ex-boyfriend marine (or is it called marine ex-boyfriend ?):
"Didn't I tell you a long time ago, if you dare make any [FAbric]-ated references in this [THREAD] about our past relationship I will [SEW] you with [PINS] and [NEEDLES}.We were lovers once joined at a common [SEAM]. However,I'm very sorry our insufferable hatred began quite a while ago when I started laying eyes on [MAY LING THE 10 year old CHINESE SOWING MACHINE]. With all this [YARN] of memories playing out underneath the [SUTURES] of my skull,I'll just go home and eat a bowl of [FIBER] while watching Lilo and [STITCH]."
-----Sgt. Peppers The Movie
I believe a picture of said barf button is in order :)
That's funny because I learned my button sewing skills in the Air Force. It must be something about military uniforms where the buttons are always falling off. And God help you if you get caught button-less while in uniform!
I was once yelled at while walking on Chanute AFB (now closed) in Illinios in the winter just because I had my hands in my pockets. I should have been wearing gloves. An officer actually pulled his nice, warm car over and bitched me out. I responded "Oh - go to Hell" (under my breath of course).
Oh, and regarding the "so - buttons" remark, I have an ecellent comeback whenever someone says "You know what I hate?" It seems like people are always saying that.
Whenever someone says "Know what I hate?" I immediately respond "Hemorrhoids?"
But you have to practice it and say it immediately. You can't hesitate. As soon as they utter the word "hate", you have to respond. So practice that and I GAURANTEE you'll get a big laugh. Or your money back.
Wow, I am patting myself on the back here because I almost made that faux paux on several occasions. I had to fight back to not say it, but I won the struggle within myself. And do you realize how many battles I have won and lost? Neither do I.
Michael.
La.
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