Sunday, April 27, 2008

An important note about dictionaries

On Friday's Red Eye I may have besmirched The American Heritage dictionary. In fact, I know I did. We were talking about a study that said that brainy girls have more difficulty in the bedroom than their dumber counterparts because they are always thinking. I said this was true, and that I was known to read a dictionary while with a suitor but that since switching from Merriam Webster to The American Heritage dictionary, which I said was the dumber dictionary, magic has happened.

Now see, I feel I unfairly maligned American Heritage. It's the dictionary I grew up on and it's the dictionary I actually own—though in this day and age it's rare that I actually open a dictionary because all that stuff is online. Also, my dictionary is packed in a box somewhere along with my lady parts, incidentally, but I think I covered that sufficiently in another post. But Merriam Webster is the dictionary most magazines use as the authority, hence my thinking it's probably got an edge. In fact, one of my first edit notes at TONY said "check Web10" and I tried to go to that website but there was nothing there. How foolish was I! Web10 was sitting on my desk. Webster's 10th edition. Now they're on Web11 I think. Anyway, fuck those dictionaries, both of which are child's play compared to the OED, you know?


Lord Melchior said...

I'm pretty sure the Urban Dictionary is the best dictionary around. If you read it during sex you might actually get some the things that are only legal in Germany.

Joe said...

Wait... Web 11 is out? Why didn't anyone tell me??? I have an old, old, old dog-eared Websters paperback in my desk that I haven't used since before radio. I think it's version -5.

I rarely use dictionaries anyway because I primarily speak in Ebnonics. Sheeeeiit, foo, I'z be doin' dat shit an' shorty be axin me fo' sum' scrilla.

So I had a totally wasted day, but tomorrow morning I plan to hit the ground running and get my head in the game. Then I'll put my shoulder to the wheel and my nose to the grindstone (that sounds painful).

Or perhaps I'll try it the other way around and put my nose to the wheel and my shoulder to the grindstone. Maybe I'll put the wheel ON the grindstone and my nose on my shoulder. That might give me a neck cramp though, and then where would I be?

I'll have to sleep on it and come up with a game plan. Then I'll move forward, seize the day, take the bull by the horns, be proactive, pick some low hanging apples, give 110%, check off some action items, find some best practices, set some priorities, deliver some deliverables, leverage some assets, find some synergy, get my ducks in a row, circle the wagons, remember there's no "I" in team, herd some cats, get ready to ramp up, and get my thoughts outside the box.

At the end of the day though, maybe I'll just sleep in. Until then, feel free to ping me.

Ted from Accounting said...

Alison wrote, "Anyway, fuck those dictionaries, both of which are child's play compared to the OED"

Ted writes, "Word UP!" Perfect label for this post!

Hope your weekend went well and Ass Van Winkle enjoyed the newspaper reading!