Sunday, February 17, 2008

Someone went to the gym today

It was me! Truly! That's why I'm all muscle and sinew right now, as opposed to this morning when I was all flab and wasted potential. But my body is my temple and I have totally moved around the interior couches today if you know what I mean. I mean, I have completely feng shui'd my tendons and I even hung mirrors on my parasympathetic nervous system so it appears bigger. Then I febreezed my chakras and set up a mail filing cubby hole system in my lymph nodes. Also, I hung some wind chimes from my spleen, because why not, you know?

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Quote of the day:


" If you need to feng shui your muscles and tendons,just give me a call ...."


--Brian Mcnamee

herecomesthesun said...

Alison darling! You're glowing!

God, you are soooo beautiful, and witty, too!

If I lived in New York, I would hang out by the back door of Fox News Studios to introduce myself after the show, and to give you expensive jewelry from Tiffany's. Actually, Wal-Mart is more in my budget, unfortunately. :^)

Give my regards to everyone on the show. Gotta love Mrs. Gutfeld!

XOXOXO
Ravi

Joe said...

My first thought is that you can't possibly improve on perfection.

But good for you! As a lean, mean, senior editor machine, we probably won't even recognize you the next time you're on Red Eye. Unless... I'm thinking the wind chimes might be a clue.

Anonymous said...

Ever had one of those days where you just had a terrible attitude? Well, I'm having one of those days. Nothing in particular is causing it. I just feel BLAH! It's even beyond feeling cynical. The good thing is, I should be better tomorrow. I don't ever stay in a rut too long. However, even in this state I'm in, which I don't know what you would call it, I would like to pay homage to the word usage that I appreciate. I'm one of those weird people that likes a good original/seldom used word. Alison's Feng shui' deserves full appreciation. Also, Joe's word perverbial. It's the little things that I find entertaining. Well, I'm on self-imposed bed rest today. I'll rejoin the discussion tomorrow.

Michael.
La.

p.s. Is it just me, or does the tumblr comment thingie seem kinda screwy?

Ted from Accounting said...

You can make any subject sound interesting! You have such a gift for writing and some well hung mirrors I might add. Excuse me while I go look up chakras and sinew. :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is just me. My computer was running a little slow and I guess my patience is thin. Nothing wrong with it. My bad. See what I mean? Crumby attitude. I'm gonna go stand in the corner now.

Michael.
La.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'm a habitual liar. I never do anything I say I'm gonna do. That's why I like myself. Anyway, I just remembered a funny encounter I had yesterday. I was in the grocery store yesterday doing the same ole' same ole' when I found myself in the bakery section. And no matter how many times I see this product, it gets me to laugh everytime. It's called,
"Otis Spunkmeyers". Some sort of baked goods. It just seems so disgusting. Another one I found new,which it might not be new to anyone else, but it's new to me. Anyhoo, I was looking for some sweet n' sour sauce, which I love with my McNuggets. While gazing over all the products, I came across this marinade sauce called, "Jerk Sauce." That's funny on so many different levels. I even had to take a pic of it on my cell phone. I mean, who in good conscious could buy this other than it being a Carrot Top prop? I'm thinking it will be my universal Christmas gift this next year. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

Michael.
La.

P.S. Man, that was a whole lotta nothing, but it made me laugh. The best medicine. See? it doesn't take much to entertain me. I'm a silly billy.

Anonymous said...

Okay, now that I'm over myself. I just came back from the gym myself. By that I mean I excercised my brain looking up all the words I didn't understand in Alison's post. I can perpetrate for a little while but not for long. I absoulutely love having to look up words. It's Cream of Mushroom soup for the brain. (side-bar: I don't like Chicken noodle.)
Also, I diagnosed my own problem earlier. I just needed a good stiff drink. By that I mean a Dr. Thunder©. (That's the 25 cent drink you get from Wal-Mart.) I prefer Dr. Pepper© though.

Michael.
La.

P.S. Seriously speaking, I hope Wendy is feeling better. Haven't heard a peep out of her in a few days. Alot of people are sick down here as well. It's a bad one.

Joe said...

Hey Michael, just for fun I did a Google search on Jerk Sauce. Check it out: tinyurl.com/24ya46

Reminds me of "Boy Butter" from Red Eye a few weeks ago. Can't remember who said that.

Is everyone having a bad day today? Mine hasn't been a walk in the park...

Anonymous said...

Ha ha!! Thanks Joe. It was funny to see that was in no way an American product. By the way I saw where they had named a restaurant from one of my pseudo names. "Curly's" My day is getting a little better. I've been on like a 2 day slump. But it's starting to improve. Hopefully tomorrow will be better for everyone. I'm an optimist. Even though I like to say the glass is half empty. Just to be anti-establishment you know.

Michael.
La.

If ever the mood shall strike you: "Viva la Jerk Sauce."

alison said...

In honor of Michael's Otis Spunkmeyer and Jerk Sauce confessions I must share a story which I think I've only heretofore told my sister: I went through a period of time where I'd crack up every time I was in the freezer aisle and I saw "Broccoli Spears" because I'd imagine a Britney Spears impersonator named "Broccoli Spears." Like laughing out loud laughing. I couldn't not read the words this way. Now I'm wondering if I actually wrote about this already. Did I?

Ted from Accounting said...

Yeah, I hope Wendy is doing ok as well! I’m still barking like a seal on occasion. I want a refund on that free flu shot I got in December.

I had so much fun with Guitar Hero 3 that I bought a new game today called Rock Band. On this one you can play the guitar, drums and sing. So I’m looking for band members. Groupies are also welcome! Tryouts will be here on the blog tomorrow night. Since Alison is the only one with musical experience, she will be the celebrity judge. I hope she is more Paula than Simon.

Potential band names: Alisonates, Rosen-o-holics or the Jerk Sauce 3.

Ted “Soul 4 Rock n Roll” Goodlove

Joe said...

I've never heard that story before, Alison. Frankly, there's more that one thing at the supermarket I wouldn't go near, much less buy and consume. Maybe I have Grocerophobia - a fear of supermarket foods. It's quite common.

Jerk Sauce would be an awesome name for a band.

Rosen-o-holics... good one. Because Alison likes to practice her Rockettes' high kicking in hotel bathrooms, I'm thinking... The Rosenettes. Sounds a lot like Raisinettes too, which I find chocolately and delicious!

Anonymous said...

Wheew, that's a relief. Now I feel less weird. It's good to know that others find humor in the most ridiculous things. Here's something kinda weird. Or more like neato. When I was at the store Sunday, I bought a can of cream of mushroom soup, some broccoli, (baby floret brocolli.), some egg noodles, and swiss cheese. I'm preparing my Michael's Broccoli casserole this evening. It's more like a coinky dink than neato. You can't make this stuff up. I guess you could, but that wouldn't be any fun.

Michael.
La.