Monday, January 21, 2008

What's the difference between

Okay so in the last post I said bonus points for anyone who knows the joke the title "cluck defiance" comes from. It's a really old "what's the difference between" joke.

What's the difference between lawyers and roosters?
Roosters cluck defiance...

It's not my favorite "what's the difference between" joke though. This one is:

What's the difference between a pickpocket and voyeur?
A pickpocket wants to snatch your watch...

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

You said snatch. heh heh huh huh. I'm sorry. There goes those flesh-colored glasses again. That's it, I'm making an appt. to see the eye doctor....Nah, I like the way these fit on me. I look like Lisa Loeb.
Minus the chick part. <----See what I just did there? Roosters? chicks? Don't act like you just didn't snicker a little bit. I'm feeling playful this morning. I'm about to go enjoy a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles©. MMMMmmm!!!!!

Michael.
La.

joe said...

The pickpocket one is funny! My favorite lawyer joke: Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet in the ground? Answer: Because deep down they're good people.

I was talking with a friend this morning about Moonlighting, and she reminded me of the secretary on the show, Agnes DiPesto, who always answered the phone with a rhyme. I found some of them online. Here's one:

Moonlighting Detective Agency...
Get in some trouble?
We'll be there on the double.
Wife a philanderer?
Don't worry, we'll handle her.
Need someone tailed?
We've never failed.
We break every case.
We meet every goal.
And what's more...
Aqui se habla espaƱol!

Anonymous said...

Ohhhhhhh!!! Now I get it. I was perpetratin' in my last post cause I didn't quite get it. I had to fire up the ole' Ford Linkin' mercury aspect of my brain. It's amazing what a bowl of choclately goodness can do.

Michael.
La.

Anonymous said...

Joe, I was a big Moonlighting fan back in the day. I really liked the theme song. I always thought Miss. Dipesto was a riot. But just like alot of shows, when the main characters start a love-life, that usually indicates the show is coming to an end. Hence the failure of Friends. The mystery is gone. That's just television though.

Michael.
La.

joe said...

I fully agree Michael. Also, the creator Glenn Gordon Caron left Moonlighting for other projects and that had a big impact on the show.

Here's another of Miss DiPesto's rhymes. I had the name of their business wrong:

Blue Moon Detective Agency...
We're detectives with a heart
We really do our part
In your moment of need
We'll be there indeed
So please don't be shy
Just give us a try
We're co-operative and discreet
We really can't be beat
And if I may be so bold
I'd like to put you on hold

Must have been a busy day :o)

Anonymous said...

Alison's horoscope for today. *Note, I don't buy into horoscopes, but sometimes they are just neat to look at. (whoops, I ended a sentence with "at." ) Shame on me. Anyhoo, here goes:

Monday, January 21, 2008
Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
You are ready to harness your creativity and make it work for you. This is not just a one-day project; it could be your main focus through the rest of the year. Even if you are waiting for a more opportune time to put your lofty plans into motion, at least use today to solidify your dreams. If an idea receives your approval, chances are that it's worth pursuing.

I copied and pasted this. I'm not "qualified" to write horoscopes. Nor would I. Like I said before, I like Neato burrito!


Michael.
La.

Anonymous said...

My horoscope for today is lame.

Monday, January 21, 2008
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Honoring your career ambitions is a smart idea, but keep in mind that a singular focus on getting ahead can have a negative impact on your personal life. Still, it makes sense to push forward now, since so much is working in your favor. You stand to gain monetary reward, yet you may feel as if you aren't receiving the recognition you deserve. Don't worry; just be as responsible as you can at work and at home.

Michael.
La.

Anonymous said...

I forgot to mention that I absolutely loved the bear commercial flic thingie. Very sweet! Like Mom's apple pie.

Michael.
La.

joe said...

Hahaha... I just found a YouTube video with some of the Moonlighting phone greetings:

tinyurl.com/2agpge

So funny...

Anonymous said...

Ahh, that brings back wonderful memories. Thanks Joe. I like to venture back in time and remember the "good ole'" days. Very inspiring. I watched that show every week. I was a loyal viewer. I miss the days when you could enjoy a show without having to think about it. Now I have to use my sifting abilities. Too taxing. Ha! I kinda just made a not quite so funny! You know, cause it's tax season. Nevermind. I know it sucked. Ha! Now I must go do some laundry and clean my pantry out. Only for the simple fact that it needs it.

Michael.
La.

Anonymous said...

*sticking out my tongue!!!!* You people with your fancy volume. I feel discriminated against. Ha!! Just joshin'.

Michael.
La.

Anonymous said...

Bear in mind, I've been away a couple days so I'm playing catch-up. Oh, cool, one of my fav. rap artist's just came on. T.I. "rubberband man.* Album title. "Trap Muzik.* Sorry, I type while I'm thinking. Anyway, about the Black Snake Moan post...I actually saw that movie... seems like it was only yesterday I watched that.. Anyway..all I remember was being disturbed about the over-all plot of the movie. I just don't like seeing people at their worse/worst not sure which one you're suppose to use there.
I'm quite certain you would look dazzling on the "RED Carpet."

Michael.
La.

Anonymous said...

Alrighty then, I'm pretty satisfied with my catch-up work. I think I've pretty much covered it all. Next step? wait patiently for the next go-around. Vamoose!!!!!

Michael.
La.

Ted from Accounting said...

Double snap...huh, what...argh (How Embarrassing), I thought you wanted where it came from within your posts..I officially suck!

I read in the rule book that the first person to 1000 bonus points will receive a serenade from Alison Angora of Tiffany's "What could have been" on Valentines Day. The way that I look at it, I'm currently at 1 point. More bonus point opportunities please.

I took a date to see Alvin and the Chipmunks yesterday...It wasn't the romantic comedy you promised but still a good movie!

When I saw the comment totals, I knew that Michael had returned! Welcome back!

Joe, I viewed the Airline clip and it was funny. I enjoy aviation related stuff!

I'm late for my pedicure see you peeps later!

Anonymous said...

You know I stretch the truth a little...I'm never far away...But that doesn't matter....I just saw what I wanted to see. Alison on Red Eye Jan 28. technically the 29 right? That doesn't matter either... I'm like soooo!!! there..That's my pseudo valley boy jargon. I'm going to write this down in my date-book. (That's a lie, it's already written here.) I'm just silly sometimes.

Michael.
La.

Moople72 said...

What’s the difference between an
epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with diarrhea……
one shucks between fits.

Chris M.

Anonymous said...

This is unheard of for me to be posting this late. I just have to put it in print that I have a feeing of disgust. Now I feel a little better, but not much. Sometimes you just gotta write something to get it off your chest.

Michael.
La.
P.S. I don't write in a diary, so this is my next best thing. I will be a brand new person in the morning! I bid you adieu. (however you spell it.)

malone said...

Q: Whats the difference between a chorus girl line up and a circus act

A: Ones a cunning array of stunts...

Alison, I always enjoy you on 'Red Eye'!

If humor was an esculator I would go down on you at the mall.