Monday, January 28, 2008

I've come to care

...way too much about Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. He's just so sage and knowing. And calm and serene. I interviewed him once. It was him and Adam Corolla. It was at the MTV Music Awards in 1997, back when I was 14. (Did I mention I'm 24? Because I'm not.) They were joking about Madonna's sudden British accent. Maybe it was 1998? Anyway, the point is that I hope Jeff Conway pulls through! Also, I search longingly through my DVR's "search by title" function for new episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. The title is my go-to joke when I need to make fun of silly reality shows, which apparently is often, but between you and me there is nothing joking about my strange obsession with the show. I think it was from watching with bewildered curiosity the episode "Dude you're so pregnant" or whatever it was called. That guy that she almost married–such insouciant douchiness! And those cute puppies! And the way Bruce Jenner always looks taken aback because his face has been pulled into a permanent expression of surprise. What does insouciant mean? That's one of those words I repeatedly look up and forget. My brain refuses to latch on.

Also, my friend Rob got a dog. Rob and I were talking to each other recently at a party about how we both want to get dogs and are dangerously close to it and then he off and did it! The same dog he was talking about at the party that he'd seen on the internet! He is my hero for he is brave and not afraid to get a dog. Not that there's anything lacking in my relationship with Fred The Jade Plant though, because I experienced something close to vegetable nirvana earlier.

22 comments:

Ted from Accounting said...

I've only seen one episode of the Kardashians. It was the one when one of them almost got married in Vegas. It sticks out in my mind because I may have visited the Little White Wedding Chapel before that was featured! Now that you mention it...holy crap that was Bruce Jenner. His face was all kind of F^%$%$ up. Kim played in something else recently if I recall.

Oh get a dog already...we could post for weeks picking a name!

Ted from Accounting said...

"vegetable nirvana?"

Now this blog is getting good!

joe said...

"vegetable nirvana"? Are you sure you didn't mean vegetable lasagne? I fear for Fred if you get the munchies late one night while watching a reality show. I suggest keeping some Twix on hand, just in case.

One little typo in your posting - it's Jeff Conaway, not Conway. Perhaps you're confusing him with Tim Conway, because the two look so much alike. But I think Tim Conway still has the ability to walk on his own and doesn't vomit every 15 minutes.

Seriously, it's so tragic about Jeff Conaway. He really had it all. Very sad for someone who's only 57 years old.

I don't watch the Kardashians, but I don't understand why someone like Bruce Jenner would do a show like that. Tammy Faye I can undestand, but Bruce Jenner?

I'm so excited that you're on Red Eye tomorrow night Alison!! And it will be nice finally having Greg back. Life just didn't seem the same last week...

Anonymous said...

I'm so relieved to hear that you also named your plant. I've always felt an awkwardness having named my Plant,Robert. <------------Get it? Come on, that was so obvious. In your face Fred! Get up! Get you some!!. Oh no! I've deduced myself to talking smack with a plant. At least my plant doesn't use performance-enhancing substances.*Miracle Grow©. Okay, that's all I got for the plant thingie.

Æ

Anonymous said...

As far as the Celebrity Rehab thingie. As I've stated before, I don't like to watch people at their worse on any level, but what I do know is this,if you're serious about getting sober, you wouldn't have your treatment broadcasted on television. What I did find interesting is seeing some of the people who were on there, namely the ex-wrestler woman, I forget her name, but it wasn't too long ago she was on t.v ridiculing wrestlers for their steroid use. Which was fine and dandy, but I just feel you should clean up your own back yard before casting the first stone.

Æ

Anonymous said...

I'm really kind of over the whole "love reality" crud. The names and faces may change, but it's still the same crapola everytime. And Brett Michaels? you got your heart broken in the 80's by a stripper and you wrote a song about it... GET OVER IT!!!. Wheew, now I feel better. Having said all that, man, I can't wait for Big Brother. I'm all about some Big Bro. Ya'll are gonna get sick of me posting about it when it comes on, trust me.

Æ

Anonymous said...

Now this is from way out in left field, but last week sometime, I forget the day, I went back and read your piece..huh,huh,heh, ANYYwaay..about the Beastie Boys. For obvious reasons. Anyhoo, I thought you were right about how over time they transformed themselves into this political machine. I used to have their cd, Anthology I believe, and I wore it out. That also reminds me that when I was in about the 5th or 6th grade, I had their tape and we thought it was the neatest thing when we discovered that on their album cover, if you looked at the back of the airplane tip, the letters, well, you can look it up if you want, spelled something backwards.. Well, I didn't really have a point to this story, but I enjoyed telling it.

Æ

joe said...

The other person I like on Celeb Rehab is Mary Carey, former sex worker and porn star, and now apparently a drug addict. I'll never understand why the people in CA didn't elect HER governor (rolls eyes).

I don't watch many reality shows, but I would tune in to "Keeping Up With The Rosens", a 10 episode sitcom about Alison and her sister struggling to make their way in the Big Apple.

In episode 8, Alison gets her own show on E! interviewing Hollywood's movers and shakers. She hires her friend Joe to produce, and the show soon hits #1 in syndication. In the final reality episode, Alison buys a dog while eating a Twix.

Happy Ending.

Anonymous said...

I'm kinda miffed at myself for the fact that usually after a 2 day hiatus, Im chocked full of useless,random information. Could I be reaching my creative ceiling? Nah. Well, I guess I will say this, I think when Greg comes back he's gonna be bigger and better than ever. I mean, he's been out of the country around a different culture for a little over a week. I predict he's gonna blow our minds with new creativity. I would love to be able to watch the show tonight, but no way can I stay up that late 2 nights in a row. I AM looking forward to tomorrow's show. Besides, I can usually tell how a show is gonna go by the Greg-a-logue. I'm looking forward to today's. Well, that's all the blah, blah, blah, I have for now. I'm gonna go have an Eggo© Waffle with some sizurp.

Nevermind who you thought I was.... I'm Æ b***h.

Yes, that was lame, but It was funny as hell in my head. And at the end of the day, that's really all that matters.. Vamoose!!!

bradleyejones said...

Crap I had to look up insouciant, I feel stoopid. I hate words.

Anonymous said...

I just awoke from my afternoon slumber to find tonight's Greg-a-logue. As predicted, he did not disappoint. Joe, I'm fairly certain you will catch tonight's show. If you don't mind, can you tell me/us how the show went? I'm sure it'll be far out! Far out? what the hell? nevermind. I'm resting up so I can catch tomorrow night's show fo' show'. Now then, I need to go look at the back of my eyelids some more. Talley Ho!

Æ.

WM said...

um, most disturbing kardashians definitely the one when her mom encourages her to take it all off for playboy.

exact opposite of when i was a kid and my mom told me to close the curtains so the neighbors wouldn't get a "free show" of "my treasures."

joe said...

Æ - yes, I plan to watch Red Eye tonite, so I'll post an update tomorrow. It'll be nice to have Greg back. Griff was fine last week, but it's really Greg's show.

joe said...

Red Eye was good last night! Greg picked up right where he left off. His opening line was funny - "Welcome to Red Eye, it's like The View but with half the fat." (This morning I saw that someone had posted that line on The Daily Gut.)

Other than the Gregalogue, Greg didn't talk about his trip. One of the segments was about Ted Kennedy endorsing Obama, so several people took shots at Ted, like "It's water under the bridge" and "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it", etc. Ted's such an easy target. Greg also mentioned the Levy Law again, taken from a Daily Gut posting a couple of weeks ago (according to the post, Andy wasn't allowed in a Boston bar with his cats and later the doorman's body was found floating in the Charles River. So a law was passed requiring bars to allow pets.)

Jamie Colby was good. I don't remember seeing her on before, so it may have been her first time.

Tonight's show will be fun. "Alison Rosen - she's as smart and attractive as I am confused and insouciant."

Anonymous said...

Oh, cool, thanks Joe. I wish I coulda watched it last night. I'm sure Greg was on top of his game as well as the others.

Going back to yesterday. Since I made such bold statements about the celebrity rehab thingie, I forced myself to watch an episode of it last night. Afterwards, I felt terrible for the things I said yesterday. No one should be criticized for taking steps to get better. No matter what conditions it's under, they are brave for taking that step. Not only will this help them on the road to recovery, but by it being televised, it might just encourage others to do the same. So I regret what I said, and I apologize to not only those people, but to anyone else I may have offended.

I'm really looking forward to tonight's Red Eye. Alison is being tight lipped about what sort of segment she's doing. Which is cool. I like surprises. Have a fantastic show Alison. Knock em' dead with your bubbly effervesence!

Æ.

Anonymous said...

At the risk of running this in the ground. I just gotta do it.

( o Y o ) <--------- "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and their life... is better than yours..d*mn right it's better than yours....I could teach you....but I'd have to charge!!!!!"

That was inspired by a Family Guy segment...It was archive material in my book. If nothing else, that was for my own personal amusement. Now I'm gonna go put up a parking lot.

Æ.

Ted from Accounting said...

Yo Yo Yo Yo....Mix Master AE in da house! The milkshake brought me to the yard!

Michael could you give a little DJ shout out to your homies in California and play some "Big Ups to Me" tonight!

That's how Ted rolls people...thats how I roll! "White & Nerdy!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw

Alison, here is my hood advice for tonight "Fo’ Sheazy go blow up your bling bling on those foolios." A'ight?"

Anonymous said...

Sure Ted, I can do that...This is from one of my fav's from back in the day.. LL Cool J.. "I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali, I'm going back to Cali.. *record scratch.*.........I don't think so."

I'm just being silly.

Æ.

Anymore requests? I'm here all week.

Anonymous said...

One more shout out to WESSSSTSIDE!!


2pac/Dr.Dre'.
"California Love."
All Eyez On Me.
1996.

Æ.

Ted from Accounting said...

Actually, I think Alison and I are in the mood for some slow stuff tonight! AE (my brother from another motha) check if you have "Sexual Healing" in your collection!

Alright enough foolishness, I'll see you at my post game rap!

joe said...

Good show last night! You looked great Alison (as usual).

So funny you talked about Sean Young. I read the news account yesterday and I almost sent you a message saying we might be seeing a new face on Celebrity Rehab. I really like Sean, and I don't think what she did was that bad. The guy on stage should have laughed it off, but instead he choose to be a pompous ass about it. Let's hope Sean is OK.

I saw this interesting news story this morning about a place in NYC where you can have some fun (and get your fingers sticky): tinyurl.com/35pjtq

So is today your last day at TONY? Please let us know how it goes!

Ted from Accounting said...

Ted's Post Game Wrap (Just keeping it real people):

Time Out who?

Greg: I love when he reads the viewer mail...hilarious!

Patty Ann: Beauty & Brains!

Bill: His subway comment was great!

Kerry: Everyone has their role on the show...Kerry's just happens to be the smug "I know more than you" part.

Triple C (Chin): Blah, So this guy totally interrupted Alison when she was on the verge of saying something monumental and for that he should be banned from the program.

Alison: You looked so happy last night and since "the" beautiful people stick together...you still have my endorsement! You were great as usual!