Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Not making any "duty" jokes is killing me

Is one allowed to blog from jury duty? They didn't give us any instruction on the matter, so I'll assume it's okay until I'm told otherwise. So here I am, Day One. I just sent an e-mail to my podmates updating them about the excitement nonpareil (that's excitement made out of chocolate and rolled in those hard little white balls) that was this morning when it dawned on me that perhaps you, the judiciary-minded readership, would like to also be in the loop. And so you shall! Here is the e-mail, lovingly reprinted for your punitive ease. Am I just throwing legal-sounding terms around? You bet your fiduciary I am! Now recuse this legislation and make it gubernatorial, prosecution!

Here is the e-mail:

Hi! I'm at jury duty. I watched a filmstrip about the judicial process and learned that in olden times they used to stick a person's hand in boiling water and if it healed, they were innocent. I think this is one of the suggested methods. Now I'm sitting in cramped room near a watercooler, so I have to move out of the way when anyone tries to get by. I had a plum seat earlier but I accidentally forfeited it when I went to the bathroom. Apparently, leaving my pen and copy of Time Out didn't adequately mark it.

Now, I think the most interesting thing here is to note that even out of the office I'm toting the magazine around, as if I myself am an extension of the brand, though Learning Annex has yet to realize this. But really it's because I was paid a personal visit by Adam Feldman yesterday, who took umbrage with my suggestion that cryptic crosswords were anything other than pure jouissance. Naturally he didn't present it to me this way; instead he gave me a cryptic-crossword lesson and then offered to go through each clue with me. It certainly seems to have paid off though, because after staring at the puzzle for about an hour this morning I think I figured out exactly one clue. What was I saying? I don't know, I'm very distracted by the actions of the people around me. Perhaps I'll get into it in a later post.

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