Double the Hocus, Half the Carbs!

In a coup for small unassuming women who ask a lot of questions everywhere, my mom won a small poker tournament in Las Vegas. My sister and I asked her to play a few hands with us since neither of us feel that comfortable with Texas Hold 'Em (we're Seven Card Stud players, kinda) and while this was going on I started to think how cool it would be if I could do cool shit with cards, like throw them out accordion style and deal them quickly and shuffle impressively, etc. And I became more and more obsessed with this idea and determined to learn -- on the internet of course-- because surely this kind of useful info is to be found there. I was wrong. Instead, I found voluminous information on card tricks, so I learned a few of those, because what the hell, right? And then I performed a couple for my sister. The first one I messed up but the second one she admitted was "impressive" and the whole things was all jokey like "look how funny and retarded this is that I'm doing these dumb magic tricks oh my god hahaha how silly." So then of course I decided I may as well learn a few more or at least master the couple I knew and I started thinking about magic quite a bit and the scary thing is that I think this is how it starts. Because right now it's all joking but before long what if I'm the ass at the party who's doing tricks? Not just turning them? A-HA! But really. Can a cape be far behind?